Big Lennys Horse
"Big Lenny's bought a horse"
"What kind of horse?"
"One with four legs and a long face, you crumpet!"
"No, I meant, jumper or flat!"
"Flat, runs on the all weather"
"When's it running?"
"Today, 2.35 at Southwell"
"Big Lenny thinks so"
"Yeh but Big Lenny thinks Jacket and Jeans is a good idea!"
"True, but he's a good judge of horses!"
"What price do you think it'll be?"
"Yeh but he can be a bit slippery can Big Lenny"
"No, he's sweet, I've owed him fifty quid for ages, he told me to forget it, have it on the horse, then pay him back!"
"OK, I'll have a look later"
He walked off, he quite liked Mad Dave, when he wasn't being Mad of course, when he was being mad he was a fucking liability!
So Big Lenny's got himself a horse, maybe he should give him a call, just to get the full story.He calls Lenny.
"Hello mate, how's things"
"Yeh not bad thanks"
"Hear you've got yourself an old nag!"
"Yeh, running today at Southwell"
"No mate, just giving it a run really, can't keep the bloody thing in the stable all the time"
"Each Way maybe?"
"Not a chance,be lucky to finish last!"
"Cheers mate, catch you later!"
What a wanker, he's told Mad Dave it's gonna win and now he's telling me not to back it. He's up to something is Big Lenny. Lieing Bastard.
He walks into the betting shop at 2.30.
Ok lets have a look, nine runners, so I'll get each way, its 9-2 third favourite. Looks a shit field, if it's any good it should piss it. Big Lenny, you don't fool me. I'm on.
He passes two hundred quid over the counter.
They're off, Big Lenny's horse goes out in front.
"Go on my son, keep where you are, this lot aren't good enough to catch you"
They come to the final furlong and Big Lenny's horse starts to go backwards, he finishes last!
His phone rings, it's Big Lenny.
"Hello mate, told you didn't I, bet you're glad you didn't back it now, I told Mad Dave to do it cos he owes me fifty quid, no chance of getting it off him, so i told him to back the bloody horse. That,ll teach him. Back it next time, should do ok, next time"
"Err Yeh cheers for the heads up Len"
He hung up.
What a wanker!