Untitled (rain girl)
By Jonathan_Dalton
Sat, 08 Jun 2013
- 766 reads
3 comments
This girl doesn't study, and plays with her hair,
faded pink dye, strawberry blonde.
She came here because, what the hell.
She's waiting for something, but doesn't really know what.
Outside it's pissing down, puddles widening as if the sea is rising through the paving.
She listens to the hiss of the rain, her eyes tethered to the window pane. Finally her inchoate thoughts dissipate completely and she feels her being washing into the rain, which in turn washes over the town, the fading houses, the peace and space of the fields beyond,
a downpour and an uprising, cool, blanketing and safe...
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Comments
Enigmatic and intriguing
Enigmatic and intriguing Jonathan. Well done. I like the last 'stanza' although 'inchoate' grated a little and the formatting could do with a little bit of care too. But these are subjective quibbles. A charming poem from you here,
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This is ripe and vivid. All
This is ripe and vivid. All that rain, the washing..it reminds me of Russian nesting dolls.
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