Final destination

Today’s dependency hasn’t gotten the worst of me as the other days have. Everyday that I rise, I fight to feel alive. A cure for my needs hunts my dreams and thoughts. I don’t know what I am anymore: I don’t recognize my self; the urges control my every move.

“Man, I feel sick, I need my fix, lets take a walk, Raul”, says Ron as he awakens from his slumber. “I don’t feel good”.

Ron did not get his fix last night, it’s a miracle that he was able to get some type of sleep, but I bet, he feels like shit right now.

“I know what you mean”, I answer with shortness in my breath, while I lay down on the cardboard boxes that I had set on the floor. Then, I got up from the cardboard boxes that I had slept on the days before and dusted my smelly, dirty cloths. And for some reason, I can’t remember which day of the week we are on, but that doesn’t matter.

“How did you sleep?”, I ask Ron as I look at his dirty, unshaven face.

“Not so good”

“How about you?”

“I haven’t slept any, I was out looking for a hit while you slept”.

“You should’ve told me, I could’ve gone with you”, says Ron.

 “I wanted some alone time”, I tell him.

“Alone time to think, like, getting off this stuff and getting well again”.

“You got it”.

“I have been thinking of joining a Rehabilitation Center to get well again, Raul. But I’m scare that I may not survive the symptoms as I start to come of this stuff ”.

 I look at the floor, thinking about where life has taken me or, more precisely, where my actions and choices have done to me, and an a emotional response came out my mouth,

“I want to do the same, Ron. I can’t go on living like this. I want to see my daughter, and I can't let her see me this way. Did you know that she graduated high school this year? I wanted so bad to be there for her, give her a hug and congratulate her on her accomplishment”.

I couldn’t go on talking to Ron, every inch of my soul cried. My body felt weak and I was starting to feel nauseas from not having the chemical in my system. I touch my waist to see if I had my gun with me; the gun on my waist had one bullet. That's all I needed to scare dealers out of their cash and goods; this was my way of supporting my habit that kept me alive.

“What do you say if we see one at the end of the day?”

“Sure, why not, we need to stop this life style of ours”.

Ron is a good friend of mines; we met in high school while in shop class. High School wasn’t an ideal place to learn for us, basically we went there to hang out and make trouble. At lunch period, we used to sneak out of the school and come back high on some good shit.

We left the abandon unkempt building, which we call home. Then, we started to walk north of the city where we knew some early birds posted at their corner ready to make their daily bread. I knew that if we lure one of them to one of the many uninhabited building, I could pull out my gun and seize his stash and money.

“Can you help?” I called out to a young kid wearing jewelry and flashy cloths.

“Who are you and what do you need”, he says.

“My buddy and me need a good fix of your good shit, we don’t feel good and last night we didn’t get any, so right now we are dying for some.”

By how we looked, we didn’t had any problems convincing the kid that we weren’t cops trying to bust him.

“You got money?”

“Yeah, I have enough to get us what we need”, I responded kind of feeling better at the thought of having a hit of that stuff that my body heavily needs.

“Follow me”, he says while turning his head to the left and to the right to see if any cops were around and leads the way to an old, two story building with broken windows. Ron and I Fallow him in. While we were inside, the kid went for his stash from under a pile of wood. And at the same time while he was reaching for his supply, I grab my gun from my waist and held it with my right hand behind me.

“How much do you want”, the kid says.

“Two” I tell him.

He began untying the plastic bag where he had the goods.

As he was busy untying the bad, I pull out my gun to the front of his face with my finger on the trigger.

“Give me your drugs and money!”

 “Don’t do it Raul, don’t kill the kid” Ron yells out trying to scare the kid.

“What are you waiting for kid. Don’t be stupid and lose your life over this!”

 The kid drops his stash on the floor and runs out of the building as fast as he could.

I immediately grab his stash and went for the small bags that contained the powdered material. His stash was big, it had enough to last us for a couple of days and not worry about feeling green, which is a distressing situation that we endure. I took a hit, I immediately felt better, able to function with out a problem. This wasn’t enough, I took another hit, because his shit was good and I felt like I was on top of the world. Ron also did the same; this was a big mistake that we were doing .We should’ve left this neighborhood as soon as we had rob that kid. Now he may come back with his bodies looking for us.

Ron and I started to walk out of the building with the loot, while very high on the stuff.

“Let’s leave trough the back of the building. If we go this way, the kid may not spot us if he decides to come back with his buddies. We may make a clean get away”, Ron suggested.

“Yeah, let’s do that, let’s leave trough the back”.

As we were escaping through the back of the run-down building, I hear the kid that we had rob with his buddies shouting, “I’m going to kill these son of a bitches, they are going to learn who they just messed with”.

Ron and I had jump the first fence that surrounded the building that we where in when I heard gunshots; they were shooting us. I put my hands above my head and ran quickly towards the next fence with Ron next to me. I heard more gunshots and the kids shouting the words,

“Don’t let them get away, kill them!”

While I was running for my life, Ron had fallen to the ground bleeding; he had been shot. I kept running and looked behind me, the kids caught up to Ron and showered his body with bullets. Then, as I ran, I felt a hot sting on my back then another on my leg. I drop to the ground. I try crawling to get away, but they cough up with me.

“This is your end”, one of them says.

 They formed a circle around me and pull the trigger on their guns.

“BAM! BANG! BANG! BANG