Unsure, confused&;#063; Not me

I am the black and the white,
the day and the night,
yet no God am I.
The sun, the moon,
the Earth, the stars,
the victim of a war with Venus and with Mars,
the sounds of the screaming butterfly,
the calls from immortals falling to die.

I'm standing beside Solomon's Gold,
yet I cannot go near, or so I'm told,
by the voices within my mind;
Not evil or good, honest or lie,
but arrogant curiosity.

But I'm stuck,
stuck in a ruck,
trapped in a soul at war with its mind.
While the body,
nothing now but an intricate device of tissue,
stands helpless victim to these two giants.

I am bodiless in a material world.

My reality is broken,
with every seeming answer my mind finds,
my soul finds a hole, while tokin';
a creeping crack,
a blemish, never to be put back.

I pray that, one day,
my pain
will be rewarded.
I pray my soul searching will find a flower
to bloom,
I dream of a day,
when I'll finally say,
I looked within the forbidden room,
and I'd look again today.

But am I a monk
who flogs himself,
thinking he sins,
wrongs some great book of mystical law -
I suppose at least I wrote mine myself.

Or do I try to write
upon these pixels on the page,
my laws for a lawless night
from my sociological rage,
that people should live as they're not -
but that assumes people are inherently evil,
&; I suppose I don't really think they are.

But I do think that people will find a new,
re-born them
when they accept morality,
and I know through experience they don't.

We are who we are,
even the stars.

But don't get me wrong,
you can still be strong,
you can find a home where you belong;
You can still marry Venus with Mars
and dance among the milk stained stars.

If you can be a guest and host
be a lover and hold the lonely close,
then feel a tear of relief fall from your nose,
when you show what your heart would never dare show,
take your mind on a trip to a dark, dark land,
and place that place within your hand,
and see it clear, but hold it dear,
then continue without reprimand.

With times as needs be,
let yourself self go,
relax and be merry,
and float with the flow,
see where the wind takes you
from where the wind blows.