Inescapable

What a long long path to take. An inescapable journey that will lift you up, push you down, bring you to the highest highs, the lowest lows, then all of a sudden you break. It shatters you, destroys you, the whole of you dissipates like the smoke you see, that haze you create to numb yourself, to prevent yourself from feeling that ache in your chest, that inescapable ache. Drowning you in tears that won't stop streaming down your face. It submerges you in this weight that crushes and crushes you down until you suffocate. You gasp and gasp but there's no escaping the inescapable. Your thoughts whirl in your head, you weren't pretty enough, funny enough, slutty enough. You were never enough. You beat yourself up looking to replay everything you did wrong. Those beautiful times you once shared are now inescapable memories of what you should've done differently. You tell yourself she's so much more than you ever were and he must be happy and you bury yourself under layers of crushed self esteem and find yourself in the hands of inescapable hatred that you project towards your being. Every time you see him you have to stay away, away as far away as you possibly can because if you get close you might just go back to him, but how could you do that to yourself when he left you only with inescapable betrayal. Those people who tried so hard to get to know you will never get that chance and you will lose frienships you deserved because he has scarred you with inescapable trust issues. How do you find yourself a way off this path? You let go. But how do you let go of someone you love, how do you let go of the inescapable...