Why the DOTCOM Bubble Burst

DEW-TEL Launches Web Site Sales

(Dogpatch, West Virginia) April 1998 DEW-TEL Corporation today
announced that it will begin sales of its innovative products on the
World Wide Web in June.

At the end of the Cold War, DEW-TEL acquired rights to the technology
responsible for the famous Distant Early Warning (DEW) system which was
designed to warn the American military of bombing raids or missile
attacks launched over the North Pole.

DEW-TEL scientists have adapted this successful technology to civilian
uses. The company's flagship product is the DEW-WAP micro device worn
in the ear like a hearing aid. The device emits a warning sound
whenever the wearer is within a certain distance of a dork. "Dork Early
Warning -- What A Putz" (DEW-WAP) can be adjusted to varying levels of
sensitivity, reflecting the fact that the wearer's hearing might be
damaged when entering certain regions known to contain an unusually
high percentage of dorks, such as the Department of Motor Vehicles or
the State of New Jersey.

DEW-TEL President Billy Bob Boontoon told a gathering of reporters:
"YEEEHAAW!! We gonna haul donkey with this one!"

When asked why the corporate headquarters of a high-tech company would
be located in Dogpatch, West Virginia, Chief Technologist Billard C.
Blankenstift declared that "it takes one to know one, and God knows, we
are one here, yeah we are."

DEW-TEL stock was trading yesterday at 1 1/2 and opened this morning at
356 3/4.