Hero's Heart

My kalashnikov lies by my side
Worn out and
battered
From long nights of assaults
As I lay down
in the trenches

The rain comes pouring down on my
thirsty soul
Thirst for blood, thirst for fire
The
animal awakens in me
My veins robust with
rage

The guerrillas are gone,
The trenches
are empty
The Deafening sounds long vanished
And the
smoke is fading

Encompassed with fear and
pain
Long after the proclamation
Lost in my
world
Immersed in memories of battle

So
many times my life
Swept away before my eyes
Save for
the second chances
And near misses

It was
war and it was long
Savagery and inhumanity was the
order
No mercy and no consideration
But to kill for
the hope to live

My heart is beating
fast
And my mind troubles me deeply
War rages within
my members
Fire burning within me

I don't
feel like a Hero
I am beneath the lowest of men
I
lost myself in the battle
And I can't face the man I am
now

The price was too much
The pain was too
great
We abused and destroyed
The land we wanted to
heal

But long in the distance
I hear
sounds, strange sounds
The sweetest
sounds
Increasingly caressing me

I hear the
laughter of children
Playing in the fields
I hear the
rustlings of the ocean tides
Probing its shores
sensually

I hear the chippings of the
birds
As they dance away in the sky
The church bells
are ringing
Calling for redemption

I must
not hesitate
To abandon my weapon
And reach out for
the new order
To be renewed body and soul

I
will raise myself from the trenches
Away from the pillars of
war
And follow the rain
And find the seashores
again

I will kneel before the seas
And pray
for redemption
As the pouring rain cleanses me
I will
hold still until I am new again