How Do You Spell Cad?

How Do You Spell Cad?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My name is Katia. I am nice enough but when it comes to affairs of
the
heart, I honestly feel like a doormat. Just look at the footprints
all
over the back of my blouse. It should be clear to anyone listening
that
I am indeed a fool. Tell that to my heart when Juan finally does
show
up!

I am sitting here waiting for Juan to show up for our date.
Waiting,
waiting and more waiting. The pot of coffee was full when I
started
waiting. Now it seems to be empty. Just like my patience.

It is getting dark outside. I see headlights coming down my road.
Turning the doorknob, I go outside for some fresh air. What am I
doing?
Why do I forgive him again?

Am I as foolish as I sound?

If you take a minute to look at Juan's picture, you would wait like
a
fool too. I suppose. Maybe not. Maybe you are more sensible than I
am.

Not that there is anything wrong with the way Juan treats me. No,
when
we are together, he is sweet and attentive. The only thing is that
he
frequently stands me up. For vague reasons. Reasons that I cannot
put
my finger on, but I forgive him. Sometimes, I get suspicious but I
try
to remember what an important man Juan is and how many people depend
on
him. At times like this, I must make the sacrifice and be patient
with
my Juan. After all, he is adorable and he does show up
eventually.

One time when he didn't show up for a date, I called him on his
cell
phone. He said an emergency had come up and he would be over later.
He
never arrived. The next day, he said his sister was sick, and he
was
running an errand for her, which took longer than expected.
Another
time, he promised me that we would spend the day together, but he
never
showed, and wouldn't answer his cell. When I protest, he somehow
convinces me that I am the one who is mixing things up and that
he
chose me to be with and I should be grateful for his attentions. I
am
taking it all wrong. He would have called. He would have arrived.
Things happen. Be more forgiving. Be more patient. Granted he's
been
through some tough times, I told him that if he needs space to work
on
his problems, I will give it to him. I will understand and we can
pick
up when he is more settled in his mind about us.

Despite this, he keeps making promises and leaving me hanging. I try
to
be patient and loving, but it is so hard to hang on to a ghost of a
man
who keeps standing me up for vague reasons. But he is so great
otherwise.

As I even say these words, I can't believe my own ears. "So great
otherwise?"

That's like saying that George Bush is a really great guy and would
give
every penny of the tax money back to the middle class so that they
can
have a better life. Ha! When pigs fly!

Am I Juan's woman or his public defender? By the time I finish
describing what an unrepentant cad he really is, I pretty much
exonerated him--and concluded that every time he stood me up it had
to
be my fault. I must have put him off in some way. Now, let's see
the
man for what he really is. A cad.

If you were a detective trying to put the pieces together on my
miserable relationship with Juan. You would conclude that he is
indeed
a cad. He is deceiving me and probably two-timing me with another
woman.

The evidence is clear. Let's see...he wouldn't have hurt my feelings
if
he hadn't stood me up. He wouldn't have stood me up if he hadn't
asked
me out. And he couldn't have asked me out if I didn't exist!
A-hah!
But, I do exist. Which means that I--not him--am the one to
blame.
Uh-oh.

Better start making it up to him now so that I'll be ready the next
time

he doesn't show up. What alternative universe am I living in? If
my
standards are any lower, I'd be able to access them with an
oil-drilling rig. The first time a man stands me up should be his
last,
with few exceptions. Acceptable exceptions include coma or death.
Excuses include medical emergencies which should be reviewed on a
case
by case basis.

Juan claims that he was running an errand for his sister. Question
1:
Where was he running this errand? Underwater? In the Andes?
Surely,
there was a good reason he didn't call me--which brings us to
Question
2: Does he even have a sister? And, have I actually seen this sister
of
Juan's , or just heard about her?

The classic cheater personality is thus: A combination platter of
self-importance, lack of empathy, and a general schemer
user-hood.
Sound like anybody you know? Juan?

Being willing to do anything to keep a man is almost a sure
guarantee
that this man isn't worth keeping. Essentially, I get what I act like
I
deserve. Dump this toad immediately. Go on dating hiatus until I
am
certain I can use my backbone for more than draping my clothes.

Remember to ask myself: Would I accept anything less than what I
really
want? Do I want to be a doormat with footprints on my back for all
the
times he walked all over me.

I don't want to be a doormat anymore. I have another date with a
real
man. See, here he is. He actually showed up.

To all the fools that were myself. Wake up and refuse to be treated
this
way by any man. Don't settle for waiting for fools that will break
your
heart.

Just say NO to Toads!