A trip to the pool

A trip to the Pool!

Now that winter is here it's too cold for walks
So we set about having some serious talks
About how we can still keep fit.
Then we came up with it.

A visit to the pool was agreed by all.

Not having swam for some time, we supposed
That our costumes would be buried by time
Under layers of clothes
In drawers that we rarely inspect.

One had a costume designed in the 70's
That had not seen daylight for years.
"What the hell", she said,

"It's old but it fits -I'll shed no tears".

One made a trip to the local shop to see what costumes they had in
stock
Something to make her look slim and young
And certainly up for a bit of fun.

She entered the fitting room with her chosen few items
Of scantiness from fashions anew.
High leg cut this and low front cut that
From the sight in the mirror she was taken aback.
The size of the bust was OK
But the bottom, OH ! dismay.

The assistant being helpful I'm sure,
Said "a bikini is the answer - try these four"

After much huffing and puffing
And pulling and stuffing
The enthusiasm for swimming had gone.
She walked out of the shop and went straight home
And tried her 80's costume on.
It fitted! She had not been outwitted.
She thought of the money she had saved
As she worked out the cost of the suit
Over which the assistant had raved.

Well, the moment arrived when we three did decide
To make our trip to the pool.
"Are we subsidised? We're pensioners" we cried
(we're nobody's fool)
"'fraid not" said the girl, as three tickets
were reeled off the spool.

Through brick-lined alleyways we trundled along
Looking for somewhere to change.
We found tiny cubicles with miniscule shelves
On which our clothes to arrange.

Once in our costumes, our bags neatly packed,
With our purses safely stowed at the bottom,
We were directed lockers which needed ?1 coins.
Oh bother! Oh Hell! How rotten.
With our spectacles buried and forgotten.
Minute locker numbers were a mystery to us
With no glasses to give us a clue!
We agreed that the system had not been designed
For the likes of me and you.

Quite exhausted by now, we wondered how
We would have energy left to swim.
The lifeguard gave us a curious smile
As we daintily stepped past him.
We tested the water from the top of the steps
And agreed it was pleasantly warm.

We were confronted by many young women
Who appeared to have been swimming since dawn!
They gave us no eye contact, no recognition or smiles.
They must have been swimming for miles and miles.
Up and down the lanes they swam with goggles and Speedo hats.
Butterfly strokes and fancy turns - they made us feel like prats.

We came for a laugh and some relaxing fun.
We decided we would not be outdone
When these speedmaidens left us no space to float,
We hatched a plan which quite made us gloat.

We none of us like to be out of our depth.
We felt more comfortable swimming widths!
We could tell by their faces in no time at all
That we had clearly and quickly got on their t..ts!

We didn't care, we had a good time
And climbed out of the pool for an urgent wee.
The lifeguard grinned as we scuttled past him
Saying "Will I see you next week, you three?"

Clothes out of the lockers and off to get dressed.
More huffing and puffing 'till we looked our best.

Back at the car we had a good giggle
We had certainly upset those stoney-faced women.
Two of them had even come miles by bike!
Perhaps we should not have been so trite.
But - Hey - we're pensioners. We can do what we like.

By ANON Swimmer !!!