A New Time

Labour Party In Decimal Time Scandle

19 March 2001

Copyright ? K J Bennett 2001

Tory MPs were stunned today to learn of the Labour government's latest
initiative to please the European Union's craving for decimalization.
In an effort to comply with the EU "Time Directive", Gordon Brown today
announced the decimalisation of time.

Under the new scheme, the twelve and twenty-four hour time system will
give way to a ten hour clock, says Gordon Brown, main instigator of the
new time system. "It's sound economics," he said. "We have decimal
currency - and have had for nearly thirty years - and our weights and
measures system is also metricated. There is no reason on earth that we
should retain the outmoded 'twelve/twenty-four' time system."

Under the scheme - yet to attain formal approval by the EU
commissioners - the entire day would last for ten metric hours (10
m/h), and each hour will be made up of 100 metric minutes (100m/m).
"There is little that can be done to alter the earth's natural rotation
around the sun," says Brown, "so a year would now be 36 weeks - of ten
metric days (10 m/d)"

Additionally, this will lead to the demise of the infamous leap year.
Currently, the calendar is worked on the basis of there being 365 days
per year: in actual fact there are 365.25 days in the year, rounded
down for convenience. Thus we add a day to every fourth year to make up
the difference. as our chart shows, the need for leap years will cease
with the new clock.

"Think of the benefits to employers," says Brown. "Current EU thinking
is that no-one should be forced to work more than forty hours per week.
Under the metric scheme, an 8 hour working day equates to only a 3 m/h
&; 20 m/m working day. Now that is an odd figure so it would, of
course be rounded down to 3 m/h. we will be able to increase
productivity handsomely on that"
Mr Brown went on to explain, "I realise that the working population
will see this as yet another attack on their leisure time, but that is
not the case. We fully intend to keep the traditional two-day weekend,
and will continue to call them Saturday and Sunday. So I think you'll
agree that on that basis, the working week will last for only 24 m/h as
opposed to the current average 38 to 40 hours. An absolute bonus for
the working individual!"

A spokesman for Tory Central Office said, "I think there is a serious
flaw in Mr Brown's mathematics. How can working a twenty-four hour week
lead to greater productivity than working a forty-hour one?"

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Decimal Time: A Quick View.

The old system consited of
365 days per year and one extra day every four years, equalling 365.25
days average. The new system will have:

36 weeks per year (1.44 old weeks)

360 days per year (one day = 1.034 old days)

3600 hrs per year (one hour = 2.43 old hours)

10 days per week

10 hours per day

1000 minutes per day

100 minutes per hour (one minute = 1.44 old minutes)

These are based on the correct yearly cicle of 365.25 days per year to
take account of the now outmoded leap year.
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