Chapter 11 - The darkness of one's mind

Darkness. 
I can’t see anything. 

Only us… 

The voices. Familiar. Scary. Friends? 

Only us… 

It’s true. They’ve been there with me. 

There for you. 

For as long as I can remember. Before the visions. The voices. 

Always. 

When mom died. They were here. 

With you. 

When everybody left, they stayed. 

Together. 

When I closed the door. They were in. Always in. 

Always close. 

I’m not crazy. The voices are right. They know. 

We know… 

They know, because they saw it all. They lived it all. Everything. They know, because… Because… Because they are… 

We are… 

They’re me. The visions. All the other Lumens who died or will die. I can’t hear them. They can talk to me. They know what happened to them. They know what doesn’t work. They know about— 

We know.

They know of that time Aurora drowned us. They know about the pain of a knife between the shoulder blades. They know what it’s like to err in a desert after the world ended. 

We know. 

They know about the fire. The goblins. The spear. The throne. The war. 

We know. 

They lived through agony. Each and every one of them. They know pain. They know suffering, betrayal, sadness, madness, hopelessness… 

We know! 

And they’ve always kept me safe from it all. They know how it always ends. They know there’s no way out. Just painful death. 

We know! 

Starving, burning, suffocating, bleeding out, sickness, crushed, slashed, hanged, sacrificed… So many ways to go. 

We know. 

They’re right. 

We are. 

They’re me. The ones who failed. They told me about the prophecy. The truth. The lies. 

We know. 

They protect me. They knew for mom. They knew for Alicia. They knew for the fire. They kept me safe. They saved me. 

And we’ll do it again. 

They’re the only ones I can trust. I’m the only one I can trust. Everyone else is lying. Everyone else will leave me. I can’t trust anyone.

Only us. 

Only them. Heilig, Aurora, Morgan, mom, Alicia, the villagers… none ever cared. None ever heard me. Only them. 

Only us…

Sometimes a whisper. 
Sometimes screams of agony. 
Always the truth. 

Always. 

What do I do? What happens next? 

They leave you. He betrays you. He obeys. 

Heilig… he kills me. With a knife. The knife… the knife u had in hand. The one with which one of us killed them all. 

I killed them. 

And the prophecy… 

It happens. And I die too. 

I need them. I can’t fight it alone. But I can’t allow him to kill me. 

Stop it! 

How? Which path is the right one? What have we not tried? 

Stop him. 

I can’t. He’s already gone. He already left. The gears of fate are already turning. 

Stop him. 

I can’t! I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. I don’t know. He’s… he can… 

Stop him!