B: January 2004

FRIDAY 2ND

Having trouble with the car. We're going to have to replace the
alternator - it will cost us ?120. It's either that or buy another car,
and we're quite fond of the old one.

SATURDAY 3RD

Finished 'The Little Friend'. Very good - I really enjoyed it. The
whole murder mystery plot wasn't so interesting as the portrayal of
characters like Harriet and Danny, how they lived. It really evoked the
Deep South, it was beautifully written and very moving at times. Very
reminiscent of other Southern novels, like 'To Kill a Mockingbird'. At
first I was worried that it was going to be just pastiche. But no, she
really put her own signature on it.

SUNDAY 4TH

I gave Joe a dinner of chicken and roast potatoes today but he didn't
want it, so Lewis had the lot! I was pleasantly surprised - Joe was
nearly 2 before he'd eat anything that wasn't mashed. He's not a bad
eater now though.

MONDAY 5TH

Joe's back at playgroup and very happy about it. So it's back to early
mornings - we have been sleeping til 8 or 8.30 over Christmas. I've
been a lot better this last week, but still I am getting headaches
every day.

THURSDAY 8TH

We now have to get the brakes fixed so we're digging deep into our
savings. I've been treating myself to some new clothes as well. There's
something about being nearly broke that makes me throw caution to the
winds. Still, it will all be worth it if we pass the MOT.

FRIDAY 9TH

Lewis is eating sandwiches now, and Joe can play the harmonica.

Read a play, 'Anna Christie' by Eugene O'Neill. It was wonderful. I got
hold of it because Marilyn Monroe once performed a scene from it at the
Actor's Studio, and it's said she was great in it. I wish I could have
seen her in roles like Anna, and not just the comedies and musicals.
And actually, it was filmed in about 1930, with Greta Garbo.

SATURDAY 10TH

We've now spent ?350 on the car in two weeks. Even if we do pass the
MOT (in March) there is still more to be done. Andy's now worried that
we may have made a mistake, not ditching the car 2 weeks ago. He's
really depressed about it, I'm quite worried about him.

MONDAY 12TH

I've caught yet another cold, but not a bad one I hope.

WEDNESDAY 14TH

We owe the electricity board ?160 - because they stopped our direct
debits last summer. I'm feeling a bit poor. We were so poor a few years
ago and I have a horror of returning to that.

THURSDAY 15TH

The mothers at Joe's playgroup aren't very friendly, although I do talk
to Lynne sometimes. I'm not very optimistic about making friends that
way. But I'm not that bothered anyway. I have enough going on with Andy
&;amp; the kids.

FRIDAY 16TH

Reading 'Britain on the Couch' by Oliver James. It's very interesting,
but books about depression make me miserable. And it's January. That
doesn't help either. It is always a difficult time for me.

SATURDAY 17TH

The brakes are still dodgy. Carl next door says he will get a bleeding
nipple for us and help us to bleed them. To be honest though I'm
beginning to wonder if it's worth all this money and effort to keep an
old car on the road.

SUNDAY 18TH

Maggie &;amp; Peter came up for the afternoon.

MONDAY 19TH

Joe is sleeping badly - and so are the rest of us! The boys have got
colds.

TUESDAY 20TH

Phoned Helen. She and Andrew are buying a flat together - in the same
building that she's in now. She's got a place on a teacher training
course (history). I didn't enjoy the conversation very much, it was a
bit awkward. That's how it can go when you don't see people very
often.

WEDNESDAY 21ST

Well, Carl never showed up to help us with the brakes, so we have done
the job ourselves. It's only a quick fix though.

FRIDAY 23RD

Lewis has conjunctivitis so we got some cream from the doctor's.
They're both under the weather and I don't feel so great either. But I
do have some good news - we overpaid the water bill and they have sent
us a cheque for ?115. We can now pay off our electricity debt! Andy has
carpeted the upstairs hall, which I'm also very pleased about.

It's ten years this June since I left university. What with the whole
tuition fees controversy, I'm brooding on what it was all for. By
today's standards, I might not be considered worthy of a university
place. But that's nonsense - I was clever enough, I got the right
grades.

TUESDAY 27TH

The boys are getting better - their fevers have gone. But I feel
terrible - Joe's waking up a lot at night, and so Andy &;amp; I
aren't getting enough sleep.

WEDNESDAY 28TH

We have arranged to buy a Volvo tomorrow. We found it on Ebay. So today
we had to scrap the 505. It was quite sad really, especially for Andy.
But there you go.

THURSDAY 29TH

Andy collected the new car (from Huddersfield).

FRIDAY 30TH

Drove to Maggie's for the afternoon in our new car. Andy had got some
RAM to put on her laptop. The car seems fine, very smart - definitely
the nicest looking car we've had. I hope it will last longer than the
others.