Outlaw Poem

Outlaw Poem

I run because my car broke down
and now I have to get the hell out of here
because they're all out to get me
in spite of my paranoia

I run because the cops are pointing guns at me
I got piss drunk and tried to get into the wrong apartment
the woman who lived there thought I was a burglar
when I was really just trying to take a good piss

I run because I have to get to my community service meeting
because we brought a bong along on a camping trip
smoking weeds in the woods with no one around
except for a very bored park ranger

I run because I see them picking up trash on the median strip
and I know that's what I'm gonna be doing soon
but I'm really not ready to think about it

I run because I want to get drunk every chance I get
puke all over the place and land a few punches
then fall off the barstool and smash my head on the concrete
floor

I run because I'm out of marijuana and I can only think of one place to
get it
I just hope he's home

I run because I got jumped by six jocks
because I told one of their girlfriends I liked her pants
now I'm walking angry through the streets of Fells Point
wearing a shirt splattered with blood

I run because they told me I could be a bartender in Mexico
I came back to Baltimore and now I'm having second thoughts
after spending two years growing pubic hair in a cubicle farm

I run because I'm falling in love with that girl
and the next thing you know she's gonna want to pop out some kids

I run because some girl's falling for me
and I don't love her but if I tell her she might die

I run because when I held my friend's twelve gauge
all of my enemies' lives passed before my eyes

I run because I don't want to write what they tell me to
I don't want to read what they tell me to
I don't want to see what they tell me to
and I don't want to listen to what they tell me

I run because n'Sync and the Backstreet Boys are all queers
not that I have anything against queers
I'm just not one myself
I hope you understand or I'll have another reason to run

I run because P Diddy should change his name to Big Weenie

I run because I didn't pay to stay in that camp site
or to park in that parking garage
or to sleep in that parking lot
using a concrete block as a pillow

I run because Gee Dubya can't spell his own name
and Bin Laden's too rich
and Bert is evil

I run because I hear it's not safe to fly these days
and "hitch-hiker" seems to be a synonym for "rapist"

I run because I couldn't afford the cab fare
and I high-tailed it out of there
and now the driver's chasing me through the woods
so I should go find myself a really big stick

I run because horses are out of style
though I'd love to ride out west into the sunset
with a double barrel shotgun and a pair of revolvers

I run because I haven't shaved in days
and I didn't brush my hair this morning
and I picked my clothes off the floor
so I look the part

I run because that girl's way too beautiful
and she's way too smart and nice
and she glows with a starlet aura
and I already know she's a demon

I run because I've got to get to the show
and get on the stage of swirling sound
playing with friends in a musical connection of sexual magnitude
searching for ecstasy in a sound orgasm

I run because my brain's on fire
and I don't know what else to do
but burn the manic energy
until everything comes to a dark blue blurry halt

I run because LSD has driven me insane
in dark rooms with swirling posters
and my ego exploded in a cosmic bang
and now I think I'm nothing

I run because I just swallowed a pill of ecstasy
and the techno beats are pushing my body
and beating my heart into submission

I run because a girl with a pacifier in her mouth
put ice into my mouth to quell the flames
and she looked at me with her baby eyes
and I knew that everything would be fine
but I shun contentment

I run because somebody told me not to

I run because I had to get out of church
they came after me with their invisible brain eraser
they call it God
but God's really the sun, the sky, the stars, and the towering
mountains

I run because an SUV just cut me off
so I sped up past him and cut him off
his ego was bigger than his gas guzzling car
and I was almost hoping he'd crash into me
just so I knew he got his

I run because ninety's always past the speed limit
and that's the only speed I know how to drive

I run because I'm up past the tree line
and the lightning's striking and I'm soaked
dazed by the altitude and thinking a blur of nothing
I have to get down to the trees
otherwise I'm the lightning's best target

I run because a skinny snake of a toothless woman
who was playing pool with me in a Utah bar
tried to get me to come back to her trailer
she told me she had "the touch"
I didn't want to stick around to see what she meant

I run because my friend hopped the counter in a Vegas casino
and poured himself a glass of beer
they caught him on camera and chased us to our room
so we climbed out onto the roof and smoked a joint
staring out at the rainbow sea of lights

I run because I fucked that hooker at Mardi Gras
and now her pimp's saying I don't have enough money
but man these girls on Bourbon Street are hot
tits here and asses there and cunts over there
a kiss here and a finger there
all in a drunken Dionysian daze

I run because I don't like the way you're looking at me

I run because the cops told me to

I run because Jack Kerouac, Lucein Carr, Robert the Bruce, and Bob Weir
all told me to
if they told me to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge would I?
I probably would

I run because Rothko and Kandinsky's colors are too intense
and the girl standing next to me doesn't know what the fuck I'm talking
about
but she's nodding because she wants to get in my pants

I run because there are too many things I hate
fuck religion
fuck politics
fuck the lot of you
fuck everything
but most of all please fuck me

I run because there are too many things I love
I run because I have legs
I run because I'm tired
I run because I can't stop running