Mrs Inane

Mrs Inane

My kettle set the precedent

It thinks I'm quite insane

My electric devices, sided

I need to break the chain

My toaster and my liquidiser

Were rather rapid, to agree

My electic whisk, is positive

The problem lies with me!

Who, on earth writes, safety instructions

With the weight, on the sardonic?

Some unstable, dribbling, nutter?

An, appliance, complulsive, comic?

Please do not!! Submerge in water

Or use this in the bath!

It's a rudy kettle, for goodness sake

Whats the matter with your staff?

My liquidiser 'under caution', states

Do not insert your digit!

Cut to the chase, why not my face?

He'll, I'll buy a ruddy gibbet

My washer instructions go further

I simply never win

Issuing the order

That nature 'Don't go in'

Do they realise, I wasn't looking

For a hidden creature spin?

Like, I often wash my hamster

Cause it loosens up his skin!

Even the stuff they pack it in

Comes with it's own entail

It's packed in polystyrene beads!

PLEASE DO NOT INHALE!!!!

Do they really think, I'd buy a fridge

That's surplus to my needs

To flare my insane nostrils

And snort their ruddy beads?

If their so God-dam, cautious

Then stapled down for luck

Should be a set of

Plastic-self-dissolving-should-anything-untoward-happen

Tweezers

Incase I get one stuck!

lex ?203