Fire His Arse!

"Fire his arse!" The shout came through the phone receiver so loudly
that every body in the room heard it.

I became impatient with the caller.

Yes, he hadn't got the best service from our people but I had put that
right, made him a generous offer and had promised to see that it didn't
occur again. Nobody knows every thing about the job, when they get
really competent they usually get promoted, if they don't they
leave.

I haven't felt it necessary to fire any one for ages. More than that, I
get annoyed when some loudmouthed unreasonable jerk starts to lecture
me about my job.

He had been partly responsible for his own problem, he hadn't bothered
to read the instructions, had damaged the product and wanted to lay the
blame anywhere but at his own door.

The saying "The customer is always right" is OK so far as it goes but
sometimes it simply isn't true. It became apparent that whatever I said
wasn't going to be right and I suddenly became aware that the time I
was spending on the phone to him was part of my life that I would never
have again. Ten more of my finite number of minutes had drained away to
no good purpose and I found myself resenting it.

Never mind "Fire his Arse" I felt like kicking it. And I bet that this
prick spelt it the American way, because he sounded stupid enough not
to know any better.

I heard a voice that sounded a bit like my own saying:
"Why don't you just fuck off and boil your head?"

"What? I've never been so insulted!" he blustered.

"Really? You should get out more often."

"I want to speak to your boss!"

"I am the boss, say what you want to say then stop fouling up my phone
line, you're beginning to annoy me"

"I, I, er, ?" the caller blustered, dried up and hung up.
I called across the room:
"Paul, stop winding up the customers."