The Only Way To Go

What a lift I get from shopping.

Time to catch the retail flow.

Dropping in with things in mind.

The selection is divine.

It’s the only way to go.

 

It’s all bright and fresh-smelling.

What a sunny retail clime.

Choose some things, adjust your mood,

then cart away the goods.

What a place to spend some time!

 

It’s the only way to go!

The highest form of recreation.

It’s bound to sweep the nation.

A moment of vacation

for the soul.

Time to join the greatest race.

Be it Target or Homebase.

They’re both a lovely place

to come in from the cold.

 

There’s an exclusive club

where they keep track of every buy.

Cash in all your points, and then

receive a lovely fountain pen

and become self-realized.

 

The store itself is quite well ordered.

With little nooks to rest a bit.

And, wide aisles, which are great.

Carts are hard to navigate,

and no one can steer for shit.

 

It’s the only way to go!

Harvesting possessions.

In your weekly sessions.

A million tiny lessons

toward what you will become.

A Valhalla for the dealing,

if money you are wielding.

And, if you’re not there for stealing

packs of gum.

 

There is a sole employee

there to greet you every day.

Everything’s so clean and nice.

It’s included in the price

of the Vaguely Meat Pâté.