They Say I Don't Think So

They say
You are what you eat
But I've a nut allergy
So I don't think so

They say
Time is a healer
But my watch has stopped
So I don't think so

They say
The best things in life are free
But my iPod cost two hundred
So I don't think so

They say
Never judge a book by its cover
But it was the Kama Sutra
So I don't think so

They say
It takes one to know one
But I'm not a 'cock-headed pig'
So I don't think so

They say
Two wrongs don't make a right
But I killed both my exes
So I don't think so

They say
A trouble shared is a trouble halved
But my therapist had a breakdown
So I don't think so

They say
It's better to be safe than sorry
But the condom broke anyway
So I don't think so

They say
Life's a bitch
And I think they hit the nail on the tail
I really think so