Whiteout III: 3(My Interview With a Goddess)

3. My Interview With a Goddess

     I won’t bore you with all of the mind numbing details of our conversation, but suffice it to say we talked at length. She filled me in on the history I had been missing from Shangri-La, wars, creatures eating people, gods warring against gods with nothing but their bare fists, you know, the usual stuff that comes with building a utopia completely isolated for the world. In the end their people had fallen into ruin and taken shelter under the earth in their floating castles. The door in the valley would not open for anyone but a god and none of the creatures could get down there.

     Their folly, just as Lopsang explained had been genetic creation. “All gods and goddesses have a bit of a complex when it comes to creation. None of us feel fully complete until we have birthed something wholly unique into this world. Without it our lives become empty and meaningless, just shells of our former selves.”

     “What is it you created?” By that point I had become entranced with her. She was interesting, and hadn’t once threatened to kill us. Overall our luck seemed to be on the change. Maybe she’ll even let us go and take me as her royal concubine! The goddess behind me scoffed and made a sound as though she was gagging in her throat. Hey, it could happen! The goddess laughed at me.

     “I created something beautiful, poured my heart and soul into it, but that was back when there weren’t any rules. Now we have restrictions on what can and can’t be made. There are masters to teach the younger of us what ultimately led to disaster in the earlier years. Unfettered creation is one of the most dangerous tools that we possess, as you must have already seen.”

     “You’re talking about the yeti. Who created that?” The goddess fell silent. She was pensive, eyes far away from the current conversation, lost deep in the wells of her mind. I have seen that look before in the eyes of men that have done terrible things.

     “That was my work, and I have had to live with the shame. It is not the worst of our creatures, but one of the few that managed to escape into your world. It was never meant to go beyond the gates of the city. I created it as a protector, a watchful, but intelligent beast. Somewhere along the way I went astray. It is so easy to let one thought cloud your mind and change the force of creation all together. One poisonous thought can take something beautiful and turn it into an instrument of death.”

     Silence fell over the room once more. Both goddesses hung their heads in sadness. I could feel their sorrow, but somehow it didn’t seem like enough. “If you brought it into the world then you must know how to take it out. It’s your responsibility. That beast has terrorized the slopes for who knows how long?!”

     “15,000 years. Yes I know.”

     “Then why haven’t you gone to stop it?! If you created it then put an end to it. Didn’t you install an off-switch?!”

     “It is not a robot Mr. Ventner. It is a living thing, you can’t just switch it off, and I built it to be hard to kill so that it would protect our people. Since the beginning of time members of your world have sought to find ways into ours, some with intentions more sinister than others. After the last man came through bearing death and destruction I built that creature to save us.”

     “You’re gods! Why not just use your divine power to stop it?!”

     “It’s not that simple.”

     “It never is, is it?”

     “Humans are always trying to meddle in places they shouldn’t. We are on top of one of the deadliest mountains in the world, and you have still managed to climb to the top. How many hints must we give you that this is not a place that you are meant to be?!” Anger pulsed through her bringing red to the edges of her eyes.

     “You divine beings, always creating problems for the lesser species, but never doing anything to fucking fix them. So you created a creature with impulse to dismember and destroy. Why the hell would you bring me here then? If anything you should have left me out there. I was five steps away from figuring out how to kill that thing! We’re wasting our time here. Right now I’ve got a demi-god waiting in a cave, alone, trying to figure out how to fight that thing, and likely about to die. So if you’re not going to be helpful then either kill us or send us away, because I’m done with this fucking chatter.”

     “SILENCE!” The lights in the room dimmed and went dark. The flare from the candles turned to a dark red, illuminating only the edges of the room and giving the goddess a furious glow. She rose from her seat for the first time and to her full height. Towering doesn’t even begin to describe it. I was a full two heads shorter than her, but I felt like I might as well have been a bug under her boot. In one instant I felt more powerless than I have ever felt in my entire life. Nothing could stop this goddess from doing whatever the hell she pleased. It was a god-awful shitty feeling brewing inside of me, let me tell you.

     “I am trying to help you.” She said, calming herself and allowing light to flow gently back to the room. “You would not have killed it. You would have become another one of my flowers. Nothing but a reminder to my failures in creation. The creature cannot be killed, but it can be banished.”

     “Banished where? Another plane where it can cause havoc far away from here?” She was frustrated, I could tell, but I wasn’t about to pass the buck to some other plane of existence.

     “No. It can be kept in an eternal void with a spell of our own devising, but there is one problem.”

     “Always a catch.”

     “A human has to do it.”

     “Why the fuck?”

     “A human’s voice carries with it a different weight than our own. We cannot banish our creatures as we are their creators and from the same plane. Only you can banish it as it is an intruder in your realm. I will give you all of the incantations you will need to do this, but you must understand that there is a great danger to it.”

     “Lady, I just climbed up this fucking mountain and watched as the people I traveled with were killed one by one. I understand the danger of your little beasty. Let’s skip the small talk and pleasantries. I’ve got a friend who’s running out of time. What exactly do you need me to do?” She gestured to a book on the table next to her and I walked over to look at it.

     The cover was leather, embossed with what looked to be liquid gold. It shone in the dim light calling out for me to read it. The tome was heavier than I expected as though it carried a weight beyond itself. Siana saw me struggling with it. “It carries with it the weight of the magic that lies inside, to assure that it can never be used in the wrong hands. The only reason that you’re able to lift it right now is because I’m imbuing you with my power.”

     She released her grip momentarily and the weight was massive enough to drop me to the floor. “Great, a book that I can’t lift, seems helpful enough.” I opened the book and looked inside at what appeared to be an odd collection of squiggles and dots. “And in a language that I cannot read. I thought you said that you had a plan.”

     “If you listen I will show you.”

     “Feel free to jump in at any time.” I said loathingly to James who had remained silent since we had been taken. “Don’t let the fact that we’re in a place that we were almost sure didn’t exist startle you. They’re only goddesses, nothing to go mute over.” The whole situation was rather fantastical, but mentioning it wouldn’t have helped the situation much. I needed James to snap out of it.

     “You will be imbued with the power to read it and move it. Siana will be joining you for the return journey.” Truth be told I was excited to have a goddess along for the ride. I knew it would make a great story, but a psychic was another story. Nothing ruins group dynamics more than the ability to reach absolute truth at the blink of an eye. There are some things that people just aren’t meant to know.

     “She will help you lift its weight, but to read you will first need to see. This sight will come at a price. It will not be easy for you to accept the truths that come with it.”

     “I’ve seen more than many others from my plain. What could possibly be worse than the horrors I’ve had to face?”

     “Follow me. Siana, take care of his apprentice.” James bristled but followed her. The goddess led me through the door and back into the main room. There we set up a long flight of stairs that spiraled around the edge of the pagoda. Each floor possessed a different theme, but I never had much more than a glance as our pace was fast. At the top of the tower was a small open room with silk cloth separating it from the chasm beyond.

     In the middle of the room stood a small wooden basin into which water poured from a small, bamboo spigot. “In order to read the sacred words you will first have to understand the intentions with which they were written. Without them the words mean nothing. You must convey this meaning when you use them or the creature will never be stopped.”

     “What do I have to do to see that?” She walked over to the water and picked up a small knife that lay next to the basin. “Woah lady!” I said backing away from the weapon. Just when I thought we were finally out of danger. “Get away from me with that thing!”

     “Relax Nick. This is for me.” She ran the blade across her fingertip and allowed the dark blood that sprung forth to drip into the water, clouding it ever so slightly. “You must drink from this.” I knew we were short on time. I didn’t question her. Maybe I should have, but I didn’t. I walked over and picked up the basin, raising the cool water to my lips and drank. “This next part is going to be a bit unpleasant. You might want to sit down.”

     I allowed her hands to guide me to a small cushion on the floor. For the first moment I did not feel anything and then like a wave it crashed over me. My vision was awash with red, cascading back and forth like an ocean. There were sounds within it, muffled as I bobbed up and down upon its waves. The sky was no more than an ever expanding grey box above me, providing no point of reference. I tried to stay above the water but was pulled down by some force beneath it.

     The world went black and I was in a beautiful garden. A pair of girls ran and played while exotic birds with four wings a piece fluttered around gently on the sweet breeze. Watching from the corner was a man, tall and handsome with long blond hair and a silver sword strapped to his thigh. It hung loosely as though it had not been used in a long time.

     Sitting in a chair next to him was a goddess. She looked much younger, but it was still clearly her. In her lap lay a small white ball. She stared into it intently, completely transfixed by whatever moved inside of it. Her children called to her but got no response. It was as though she was there but completely separated from them, absorbed in her own world.

     The children faded and the nice garden scene was gone. There was a dark wooden room. It was night time, but the goddess was still up, staring into her ball, moving her hands gently, and muttering incantations every second. There was uneasiness in the scene, something just below the surface that I was unable to discern. I could tell something was wrong, but it was too far away for me to fully grasp.

     It felt like I had been stabbed in the gut as the world swirled before me once more. I was floating above a world, quiet and peaceful. Thousands of tiny lights dotted the landscape, burning quietly in their little paper houses. Crickets chirped and birds of the night cooed softly. Everything was at ease but the feeling inside me. The red slowly washed over the world and I was back in a room with the two girls.

     In a flash it all went wrong. A man flew through the door holding a rifle. The girls were gone in an instant. Outside the house a raiding party stood, firing in at the windows, burning and pillaging. The village was no more, there was only fire. Tiny dots fled into the hills and were cut down by things that waited there. A roar cut through the silence. The raiding party began to scream as it tore through their ranks.

     Fur and blood moved as one, decimating everything in their path. Behind it a screaming goddess, shouting with all of her pain, urging it forward. The destruction it reaped was absolute. Gods and raiders fell on equal sides to the beast, leaving nothing more than shattered remains to dot the landscape, and then I was floating. Darkness was everywhere. It crushed in on me, a heavier weight than anything I had ever felt in my life. There was great sadness and great pain in that hole.

     I wanted to hurt people. I did not know why but the desire was there. Someone had wronged me and I wanted them to pay dearly for it. I wanted them never to feel safe again. The thing that had happened to me would never happen to anyone else. Out of the darkness there was light. Sinew and bone grew together from the thought into a matrix of destruction. The beast formed before my very eyes and was transported from imagination into being.

     I was back on the ground watching it tear through the ranks first hand, only now I was in its head. There was nothing there but pure rage and hatred for the men that stood before it. Everything moved so quickly that it was hard to tell who they were. Conquistadors maybe, men garbed in metal and chain, carrying with them the modern weaponry of the time, and laying waste to what had been peace. I could feel the pain that drove the beast forward and relished with it as each kill was completed.

     The rampage lasted for days, and at last there were no more of them. The scene faded to white and I was on the side of the mountain, cast out from the warmth of the land I had known. Below me was nothing but the snowy abyss, dragging on for miles, obscured by the thin white fog that always hung there. I turned back toward the cave and walked through the doors as they opened for me. Inside the cave I sat and waited, brewing on the hatred I held for those below, feeling the pain. It was soul-crushing loneliness that I felt, and nothing else.

     When I awoke I was on the floor of the pagoda, drenched in sweat, and cold. “Why?” Was all I could muster. There had been so much pain and suffering, all from the creation of one drop of anger. That was all it took.

     “A mother will do anything to avenge her children.” A tear fell from the goddess’s eye, but she covered it quickly. “Now when you read the words I wrote to banish this creature from the land you will truly mean them.” After that we all needed to rest. James and I sat and sipped tea with goddesses. He worried about the task to come; I tried to cope with the darkness that had entered my soul. I longed desperately for a sarcastic comment to break the tension within me, but there was nothing. She had broken me.

     The words came far too soon. “It is time.” Said Siana, quietly. We filed out of the warmth of the castle and back into the ink void beyond, and before I knew it we were back at the mountain…