Soap, jam, cars, paper....whatever

Not for a while, but sometimes, only sometimes. It happens...
I can't describe it
just when it happens.
Wait...maybe, I feel it, it's returned after all this time, this
feeling, this unique fucking feeling, like all feelings ever felt;
good, bad or indifferent gather, fight, surround each other, burst into
my core, teasing me.
Confused I stumble back and forth, trying hard to meet it. I square up
to it ready...
It's coming, I can hear it almost like a headache, too much, too fast.
It has potential, life altering potential. I feel it's power, I feel as
if at that very moment were I to glance in a mirror I wouldn't
recognise the reflection, go with it I whisper, I trust me go,
it scares me.
I look it in the eyes, it's there, it's here, it's not, its, its...
ehhh....another fucking idea just passed me by. Forgotten!
can't describe it....