When I Go Down With the Sun

I am walking through the dim evening
Seeing, thinking, hearing
Green-blue-gray- above the shadowed trees and darkened roofs
And realize I'm the only one that feels more at home in the dark

I am comfortable in the place
Where demons go to make love and make dinner
Where sniffing a flower could bring unseen horrors from the bush above
Where birds blend the skies like an oil painting

I am the only one
Who drinks tea with God
And does not use a capital H
Who reads for fun and wishes she could wear all black and blend in too

But then I go to parties
Talk to Matt and Jason and Drew and Andy
Smile. Curl blond hair around one finger.....
Laugh at everything they say....

Praying to this lower-case h that they never find me out
Because then I have to face the mirror with a message
One telling it the war is lost
Sparta always killed the messenger.