Automated answering

Automated answering

"If you have a star button please press it now"
Says the voice of a certain disembodied old sow
Press one for a nightmare and two for a wait
Press three for eternity and four for a spate
Of delay

The button is pressed and you listen once more
As you are conducted on the full sightless tour
Of departments you don't want and things of no need
The voice says something, but you're paying no heed
To it now.

Dial in what? You've missed your que
She repeats it twice, she's understood you
She senses quite rightly that she's lost your attention
And, as a child, sentences you to a long detention
On your bill.

Cut off, hang up, there's only one way out
Hanging on a line doesn't cut it and it's passe to shout
Get pen to paper it'll flow with ease
You'll not be subject to that endless tease
Of "shortly".

Put it in an envelope and post it real quick
It'll get there in time if you remember to stick
A stamp in the corner for 26p
Relatively cheap if you ask me
In comparison.