nanowrimo - 2007 - chapters 8-15 rough and ready word wasting glory

A package? For me? What could it be, as well as book cases there was a little package waiting next door. I had no idea what it was, knocked on my neighbour’s door and he gave me a large package. I thanked him, and took it inside, hoping I was the winner of some internet competition I had forgot entering. But no, it wasn’t that, it was BT Vision. Digital tv, welcome to a whole new world of digital entertainment. I have started reading all the stuff, rather than work out how to install it on the hoof. I’ve started reading all the stuff you usually ignore, how unman like of me. And with that exciting news, I sail past two thousand five hundred for the day, and three thousand is now very reachable, and after that maybe four thousand, maybe even five thousand. It’s one minute past one oclock, football focus is on the telly, I am on my own, what could possibly stop me? Three thousand will be achieved, you can be sure of that, oh yes, I will march confidently to that summit, smacking away any opponents or try to stop me, I am a word master, I vanquish those that try and stop me. I’ll borrow Jonathan Aitken’s mighty sword of truth, he doesn’t seem to need it, mind you it didn’t really work for him. Five hundred words short of the best writing day of nanowrimo two thousand and seven, I am motoring, I am a writing fiend today, come see me roar, like a tiger, like a lion, like a liger or tigion? Like a mighty grizzly bear, I am taking no prisoners today, see me sail through today without thought, mercilessly piling the words up, look I’m on page twenty eight already, thirty will come and go. What was it, ninety two pages to finish, I‘m more than a third through. six hundred more will see vanquish nineteen thousand, then twenty thousand lies at my mercy, and I will get there, oh yes, I am a speed freak, a coked up journalist, pounding out a winner of an article. Watch as the words fly from my finger tips, down on to the screen, filling the screen with lyrical magic. I have finished Sunday’s word count now, I am a day ahead of schedule, let‘s make it two days,three days even. I need to strike while the iron is hot, and keep at it, pound away.

Actually, I Think I’ll switch it all off and see if I can set up this new world of digital entertainment. Or I could plough on for a little bit and get through three thousand for the day, I‘ll deserve a little rest then I would have achieved a target I set myself earlier today, and probably all before two o’clock in the afternoon. I will be made of win, no smell of failure at all. It is these little milestones that drive me on, I’ve forgotten all of the ones I have achieved today, I haven’t got time to go back and read this, it’s all about productivity today, no time for fripperies such as reading it to see if it makes any sense. You do that in December, or not do it, as is usually the case. I have just read the last line of my two thousand and five effort, and to be honest, it’s rubbish. Three thousand words achieved, yes siree, a grand achievement, and four thousand will be achieved today as well, I’ll be messing around with a digital tv box for a while, but four thousand is officially on. In fact one thousand and four hundred words will see me through twenty thousand, that seems a good target to aim for. I can then post on the twenty thousand thread on nanowrimo, and get disheartened when I see those who have already finished. I will also better the most productive day of the month, I’ll past that total fairly shortly, another milestone, vanquished, smashed to smithereens. Onwards and upwards. Nineteen thousand coming up, but I’ll leave that for the next visit to the writing table. But I can’t leave while I am so close to the best writing day of the year so far ,seems rude to stop before I reach it. Also it enables me to keep chipping away at the fifty thousand word target, every word gets me closer, every word narrows the gap between failure and success. Done it, this is the best writing day of the month, it’s official fact fans, and it is not yet done.

After much connecting, checking, I think I have now got BT vision, so I may well mess around with my new toy and see what it does. Telly is so much more complicated now, before it was connect the aerial, plug it in and you were away. I remember channel 4 launching, giving us 4 channels, now it’s hundreds if you want them, a lot of them are shite mind, shopping channels, reality tv, phone in competitions and the like. With that I’m fast approaching nineteen thousand, which is just one of many new targets today. Four thousand for the day is not too far away now, I’m soaring ahead of schedule, which is great for the days that will come when I am flightless, like a writing dodo, and cannot soar. As for right now, I’ll declare for a while at nineteen thousand, seems a good place to stop. It’ll leave twenty thousand as the logical target for today, and maybe twenty three thousand by end of play on Sunday. There it is, nineteen thousand. Very good work today. And, thanks to a great effort today, my average word count for the month is now one thousand nine hundred words a day, plus a couple of more to allow for the words I am writing right now. And if I continue to write just a little more, I’ll find myself on page twenty nine, another mini milestone achieved. Not sure how many words there are on a page, I might count this one once I get to the next page, just out of curiosity. I reckon about seven hundred odd to the page.
Page twenty nine begins, and the news at the start of the page, is that the last page contained seven hundred and sixty seven words. The fascinating fact has taken me past three thousand five hundred for the day, marching on towards four thousand

Hoorah, they are, but now it has to update or something, so it’s just a welcome screen. I have to wait to play with it, I could get rid of all the packaging, which is all over the sitting room floor. I’ll get around to that later.

I’ve set it up. But can’t get any channels, and Gill is due home shortly and will want to relax with a glass of wine and the telly

This is not going to defeat me though, for I am a man, and I know technical gubbins.

Back to this now, and I find myself flagging just a little, the heroic effort today is beginning to drain me or enthusiasm. Just how many words can I write about nothing in particular. Suddenly the thought of finding another thirty thousand from somewhere is dragging me down. Hopefully, later on today, or tomorrow, I will have renewed energy. I want to somehow summon up three hundred more words today, get me to the four thousand marker by the end of the day. It is a good milestone to aim for. My earlier enthusiasm is waning, not surprising really, my back hurts a little too , I’m going for the sympathy vote here, I want you all willing me to get to the line, today’s line, and I need positive vibes from all of you for the next twenty days. It would be nice to also get them once nanowrimo is over, if you have any to spare and can send them my way. If I get too many positive vibes, I’ll redirect them to someone else in need.

Down to two hundred short of the four thousand, easily my best day of the month, and it’s only six minutes past four in the afternoon. My earlier enthusiasm for getting to five thousand words today appears a little displaced. I will make it to four thousand, so that is still a triumphant day. But five thousand words is beyond me. I think I will have a double whammy, four thousand words and a twenty thousand total, so that will equal a big win. Another four hundred and eighty words would get me a full two days ahead. The plan then is to stretch that lead over the next week to three or four days ahead. I’d like to finish with a week to spare, and then follow the nanobuddies who are also doing it, encouraging them, urging them on, to the finish line and beyond. I’d like to be half way through by end of play on Tuesday, that is what I am aiming for. Twenty five thousand words by Tuesday. It is doing able, I should get to twenty thousand by end of play today, then 3 days at about average pace will do it. Did it, four thousand words in one day, the nest of the month by far. Next target is reaching page thirty, and reaching twenty thousand. I hope to achieve the former in the next few minutes, the latter should achieved in my next visit to this torture chamber. Boy I’m flagging, I’m beginning to hate this thing, it is curling around my neck like a python, squeezing the life out of me, making it impossible to think about anything else, squeezing, I have to use all my strength to get rid of the python, I need to breathe, need to run about, to gambol like a new born lamb. Come on page thirty, where are you, I want to see you now

And I did, Page thirty.

And only two hundred odd off twenty thousand, but I can’t drag those two hundred from this tired mind at the moment. I will try and return to this later.

I return, after a frustrating time with BT Vision, I am getting annoyed with a little grey box, I want it to work, I Want to play with my new toy, but it is not playing ball. ,my objective tonight along with getting to twenty thousand words is to watch telly. I wonder if I will hit both targets. Only one hundred and forty words keep me from the twenty thousand mark. One positive note, I played 4 gamers of scrabble and won them all, well I played five and lost one of them, but always accentuate the positive. Further positive news, this is the second best day ever in my nanowrimo history, only one day , the fifth of November two thousand and five beats this, when I managed to write five thousand two hundred and forty four words, still a thousand words from today’s effort. Also on a Saturday. I don’t recall having any technology issues that day, maybe if the BT Vision box had not been delivered, I would have beaten that word count today. I am now two days ahead thanks to today’s marathon effort, now I want to double that lead, I want a four day lead. It‘s important to have such goals

Ladies and gentleman, we have passed twenty thousand words, we are on page thirty, we have less than thirty thousand words to go. This could be another nanowrimo success story. My daily average now exceeds two thousand words. I think I have been in the zone today. I can now post on the twenty thousand word thread on the nanowrimo message board

After the firework incident a few days ago, now there is someone playing with one of those motorised toys, it is REALLY LOUD AND IT IS PISSING ME OFF. I have the window open to get rid of the smell of smoke from my sneaky cigarettes, so the noise is invading me, like an annoying little wasp, buzzing in my ear. It is a man and his son, do I go out and have a pop? I am going to try and ignore it.

Of course, as I am writing a chapter a day, this is the longest chapter of the book, it could be five thousand words at the end

The shortest chapter is yesterday‘s three hundred and ninety one words.

Peace returns, they seem to have got bored and stopped, now it is just the sounds of the evening, a faint sound of cars from the main road, a door opening, a car driving down the road, ah the familiar sound of a police siren racing to a hackney crime scene. Another siren, further away, maybe an ambulance.

That thread was annoying the starter managed twenty thousand on day one, makes the tend days I have taken look like a snails pace.

As if by magic, page thirty one appears, I started today on page twenty four. Another mini milestone, and five thousand is fast approaching, along with twenty one thousand as well.

No telly, after several hours I came to the conclusion that the aerial is fucked, so no tv until we get an aerial man around. So radio, the computer are our only forms of entertainment until the aerial man rescues us. Still, it is very quiet for a Saturday night, just the sound of me sipping my tea, and the rustle of a biscuit packet in the other room, strangely comforting.

This lack of tv might just get me over the five thousand word line, which is only two hundred or so words away, then get about three hundred more (and it is eight thirty six in the evening) and I break my nanowrimo record. I will make the five thousand mark today, but it will be a struggle, it just gets boring, typing away, especially if there is no particular story line or plot to get excited about. I’m mining the mundane. One hundred and fifty more words and I’ll be there, keep chipping away at this rich seam, and send the words down the conveyor belt up to the surface where they will be released. One hundred words, it’s getting closer, I can almost taste it, the sweet taste of success. I have had such a good writing day that I’m eating into Tuesday’s word mountain already, I’ll soon be three days ahead if I keep up the pace. Or I might just connect the PS2 and play tiger woods for the rest of the night, or a good war game. Ican’t not make five thousand now, my meanderings and ramblings have got me there, I can’t remember what I have talked about today, but whatever it is, it’s nearly five thousand words worth. As I speed towards five thousand words, I Think I’ve earned the right to stop for the evening. I may come back if I get the energy and try and knock the two hundred or so I need for the nanowrimo personal best, but for the moment, I‘ll give it a rest. I should celebrate it a little, it is only the second time in three nanowrimos that I have got through five thousand words in a day. So congratulations to me, on a magical nanowrimo day. I think I might break the record later on tonight, it’s only about one hundred and fifty words away, and I have 3 hours to mess about in, give myself about twenty minutes for those words. I am ahead of the pace I set last year, but well behind the pace I set in the first year I did namowrimo, I was almost at thirty thousand at this point 2 years ago. I can’t imagine I’ll be able to write nione thousand words in the next three hours. Thanks to the efforts today I’m about 3 days ahead of the pace already, I could stop writing right now, and not worry about it until Tuesday, not that I will be doing that of course, it is my intention to keep hammering away, and finish this thing early doors

And thanks to the spurt in the last twenty minutes, I have sailed through the five thousand mark, and got my best ever word count in a day. I have beaten the two thousand two hundred and forty four mark. With every word written down I am setting a new record mark, if ever there was a time for some good old repetition, I said if ever there was a time for some good old repetition.

I’m about six hundred short of six thousand for the day, and about six hundred short of 3 days ahead on the required daily schedule, this is a writing bonanza of a day. I’m also close to getting to twenty one thousand, which I should hit any minute now if I keep typing away for a while, I can imagine hitting thirty thousand words now, and twenty five thousand is only a couple of days away, the half way line. Right ten more words, and it is twenty one thousand done, there done it. I’m not sure I can write any more tonight, so this might be it until tomorrow morning, when I have slept on it.

Fireworks continue to explode in the night, nearly a week after bonfire night, basically it sounds like a war zone for about a fortnight around here. Five thousand and five hundred words to the good today, a stellar day of writing. That’s over a tenth of book in one day. I’m only five hundred words short of a three day cushion, and fast approaching the half way mark, less than three thousand away now. I have had it for the day, I’m off to play some scrabble. Very pleased with the word count today, I doubt I’ll ever better it to be honest, it’s ten fifty two on Saturday night, and I can’t see adding to it in the next hour. Just under four hundred short of the six thousand, it has really given this book a timely boost. Another couple of wins in the scrabble could get me my highest ranking, wouldn’t that be a nice thing to happen.

Well that didn’t come to pass, after a long winning streak, I get taken down. So nearly a great scrabble day, definitely a great nanowrimo day

But could I hit the six thousand mark in the next hour, have I got it in me to hanmmer it out for twenty minutes and really give it some welly. I’m not sure to be honest, I think I’ll take a quick break away from the screen, maybe make a last desperate bid to get the aerial working, or play some more scrabble, or smoke a cigarette, or have a beer, or a large glass of Jim Beam. With that flurry, I’m only two hundred odd words away from an outstanding score, have I got it in me?

I’m nearly five thousand ahead of the pace now, 3 clear days, and the chance to keep building and finish early, without last minute stay up all night nights. Actually is it just short of 3 days ahead, and all because of this massive writing day, I have powered through, mostly because I had a totally free day, and I only left the house once. Otherwise I wouldn’t have come close. Plus there won’t be another Saturday like this, as usually there is stuff to do with Gill. This was a one off, so it was a good job I took advantage of it.

You know I think I can get to the six thousand, but I will stop there, it won’t be a case of heading on for seven thousand before midnight. But six thousand that is suddenly doable, and I am going to do it. Eighty words from the target, I could type the same word eighty times and I would be there, I have got fifty two minutes to do this, and with what I have just written it’s less than a word a minute. I feel very tired, only the constant banging of fireworks is keeping me awake, I’ll have a quick stop for refreshments then press on to the six thousand. Although a quick word count means that I should hit it in this very sentence, any time now, right about now, or now. Done it, over six thousand words in one day, for me that is phenomenal. Another forty two words and I will be eating into Wednesday’s words, I’ll be three days ahead, I’m also about to hit page thirty three of this nanowrimo month, and twenty two thousand is not far off, only three hundred or so away now. Now I am munching into Wednesday’s words, an astonishing day of word smithery, for me anyway, there are those engaged in this internet stunt who pukll that off in a few hours, for me to hammer away all these words today was a one off. If I was a full-time writer I might be able top do it everyday, if I earned a crust from it. As it is my arms are aching now, and my back is aching, from sitting in front of the computer most of the day.

Maybe there is just enough time for a few more words before midnight, a little over eight minutes away. I Think that’ll do actually, a full on mega nanowrimo day comes to an end, with me a couple of hundred short of the twenty two thousand line, which I should hit tomorrow. Plus twenty five thousand is a reasonable target tomorrow, which of course will be half way to the end.

Exits

Chapter eleven: November the eleventh.

So, how do I follow the record breaking day yesterday. I won’t be surpassing it, that’s for sure. I guess it’s a bit like following Alex Ferguson as manager of Manchester. I bet whoever does eventually succeed him will think , I now have a great job, with absolutely no chance of matching his achievements, I just hope I don’t fuck up too much. Just over night my average has plummeted to below two thousand a day, it won’t be long before I am back at that rate. I’ll soon hit twenty two thousand as well, I’ll be lucky if I hit twenty five thousand by the end of Sunday, I’d take twenty four thousand, it would make it eight thousand plus words over the weekend, you can’t say fairer than that, If I was offered eight thousand words on Saturday morning, I would have snapped my own hands off. And so onwards past twenty two thousand and towards twenty three thousand. Thirteen hundred words today will take me up to the start of Thursday, and I’d hope by then to have another six thousand in, which means I should hit thirty thousand on Thursday. That is the aim.

Back to the tv, I have to working a little, the aerial is knackered, the wiring must be about twenty years old, a lot of this house is ancient, we have been here ten years now, nearly eleven and not changed much. There’s loads that needs to be done, re-wiring for one, new kitchen, repairs to the bathroom, the windows need painting and the exterior walls, could do with new steps down to the garden too. We prefer just making do, to spending a shed load of money, but that day when a shed load of money gets spent is fast approaching.

Well I’ll leave it this morning, with the average above two thousand again, and twenty two thousand vanquished.

Today I have been reduced to writing this on my mobile phone, brought to you by Nokia 73, superior finish technology, and emailing it to myself. The reason for this computer exile? Gill has been hogging the machine for the last four hours. I guess I did have it all day yesterday when I coasted past the six thousand word mark. That is not something I will manage today, I will be happy with two thousand. So at Six on a Sunday night, I am itching to put a few words down. Today I vanquished BT vision, and breathed life into my ailing outside tv aerial. At forty two years of age, I adore technology, I have spent a few hours today, setting up BT vision, and working out how to record programmes and films I probably won’t watch (currently recording “return of the jedi”)

No having kids does give me the chance to mess around more. I haven’t had the chance to check in on the internet community, visit a few message boards, post some replies, read some posts, take the piss a bit. This sort of thing is a luxury that would be denied me if I had to tale the kids on one of the many activities they probably get up to at the weekend. My life is a lot different to contemporaries who did manage to have a family, I’m sure they have their compensations, like having someone to look after them when they are old and crinkly, I’d expect my nephews and nieces to be around then, if they want any fucking inheritance that is.

I decided today that when I did get around to writing today, I would take a break from obsessing about the word count, how many words I have written today, what page I’m on (thirty four) and just write about stuff.

Checked some stuff, quiet day, well it is a Sunday, people are having real lives, even me, I’ve been to Sainsbury’s today, and to pc world, picked up a new wireless adaptor, as the one in this PC is well rubbish really, bought some extension plug things, cos we have more things to plug in, than we have sockets. Reminded myself that there is so much to do in this flat. I’ll make a list now, which I can ignore for years, but it might prompt me into getting organised after Christmas. Well no one organises anything once November starts, it’s always, I’ll leave it until after Christmas.

One. Re wire the house - expensive - need to save up or get a loan
Two. Get the windows and front of the house painted - see above
Three - new carpets - see above
Four - new kitchen - see above
Five - cut the hedge - my last neighbour buggered the hedge trimmer (well not literally, it just doesn’t work - so a new one is needed, that is doable)
Six - sort out buildings insurance - so we share it with Alice downstairs - only be waiting to do that for about 2 years

Clearly I put things off, I might have done some things in November, but decided to mess around and write a fifty thousand word novel instead. Still that leaves December to do other stuff, but December is worse than November, no one ever gets anything done because they are preparing for Christmas. Another advantage of being child free, Christmas is a bit of a breeze, as long as it is just you and your partner, we could just have beans on toast for Christmas dinner, who would know? We don‘t, we usually have a proper full on Christmas meal, rarely turkey though, in fact, never turkey, could be venison, quail, chicken, but never turkey. We relax on Christmas morn, maybe drive down the to Thames and have a bit of a stroll, amongst the tourists who have only just worked out that not much is open. Well not much in the touristy bit, come down Dalston, every thing is open there. Will they listen?

Somehow without much effort I have managed over a thousand words today, and heading serenely towards twenty three thousand. I know I said I probably wouldn’t talk about the word count, but I’m writing this thing and I can change the rules as I go along, so ner. I think I’ll easily manage eight thousand plus words this weekend.

I just had a look on abctales, and a fellow nanowrimo writer, known as enzo on those boards, who I think is called Ben in real life. Mentioned that he had read an excerpt of this on the nanowrimo site, and he had enjoyed it, he was flagging, now maybe he’s inspired to finish the thing. He wanted to read more, so I have posted, unedited, the first week, on ABCtales. Any responses to it, I will put on here. I’d put the negative responses but generally people on ABCTALES are too lovely to write negative things.

This is an interactive book, at least it is until I finish it, then it becomes a, well a book. I’m not actually sure if anyone has done this before, it seems perfect for nanowrimo, maybe it will be my first novel, Be great if before the book is finished I could say I have had an email from a publisher who is interested. They might want to see how the book turns out, I could make the book turn into a tribute to them, that would get it published.

I‘m getting stuck again now, I looked on the nanowrimo forum and there were loads of tips on getting going, introducing new characters, or a murder so there can be an investigation, or a flashback scene, to fill in your character. As I have no plot, they are all a bit difficult, the only character is me, maybe I should investigate myself, create more wordage that way. I should be in a mood to write a lot more tomorrow anyway, I think they mega word play yesterday has emptied the tank a little. I’ll be happy with two thousand words today, and that is only about six hundred off, that keeps me ahead of schedule, and would take me to nearly twenty four thousand words, I know I was hoping to the half way mark today, but I can’t see it happening, I’m going to mess around on my new BT vision in a bit, maybe play some more scrabble, pull myself out of a temporary slump in form. And nanowrimo is getting in the way of my time wasting opportunities. Ironic really since nanowrimo is basically a thirty day time wasting opportunity. When you are on it, you find other ways to waste time. And eight thousand words over the weekend, that is a good result, or will be when I hit the eight thousand which is only a few hundred words away as well. And thanks to today’s just about average effort, I’m back to a three day lead over the required schedule. I can sit back now and not write until Thursday, if I wanted to. That will not happen, during November I feel guilty if I don’t write. That is the beauty of the thing, even though you might indeed my writing a load of old nonsense, you are writing, every day, it gives you the discipline.

I’m listening to something on myspace at the moment , I joined a myspace group; TWiN LONDON (spoken word poetry collective) and they sent me a message, in it was a performace of a song/poem - fingers - by John Hendicott and polar bear, starts of slow and seductive, brings in some base, drums, other stuff, maybe some horn, it builds up, then the poetry starts, nice and ranting, the sort of poetry I’d like to be able to perform, confident, aggressive, full on, sexy. Thanks for sending it, I should message them back and tell them how much I like it. I did and I tried to download the song, but he wasn’t having it on myspace, so now I have to se if I can get it on itunes. It’s not there either, now I have to go off on some internet oddysey to see if I can find it anywhere. I check out myspace, just out of curiosity and now I have to go off and do stuff, waste time, when my wasting time should be doing this. Still this has brought up the eight thousand over the weekend, an ordinary day of writing today, an extraordinary day yesterday. So I can relax a bit tonight.

Couldn’t find it, so I messaged this john hendicott fellah and asked him if I could buy it anywhere. And because it is myspace, asked to be his friend, plus put his track on my myspace page. Yes I have one of those, and face book, went on bebo, but thought it a bit rubbish to be honest. I am forty two years of age, and I am an internet geek.
It fills the space of an actual family, well actually it doesn’t at all, it fills a space of some kind, not sure what sort of space. This nanowrimo is of course, all about filling space, filling a blank page, filling about ninety A4 blank pages with plot, narrative, character, events, drama, emotion, humour and the rest. And I have managed to do that to the extend that I’m only twelve hundred short of the half way mark, twenty five thousand words, that is the peak of the hill, surely it is down hill from there. Well no, it’s all one big mountain, and you struggle slowly towards the top of it, and at the top, you don’t feel like you have achieved that much. You have, and at forty nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine words you feel you are on the edge of greatness. Sadly the next word does bring a sense of deflation, a sense of loss. Mainly because the journey has been so much better than the destination, the race better than the finish line. And I have now filled thirty five pages of space by the way.

You get a lot of casualties on nanowrimo, people who give up, it is a bit of a commitment to get the thing done. To be honest it does kind of ruin November for me in a way. I am constantly thinking about it, and about the word count (twenty three thousand none hundred and fifty)

Some people see if as a genuine novel writing exercise, and take great care, and even edit for fucks sake. Editing is for December, spell check is for December. I am seeing all these red squiggly lines as I pound these words out reminding me to carry out a spell check, remind me all you want, it ain’t happening until December, if it happens at all. I posted the first week up on a site, Abctales, and told them it was unedited. It’s part of the thrill, writing for ther thrill of it, not planning. I’ve seen on the nanowrimo forums people saying they scrapped it after ten thousand words and started it again. Madness, just continue writing, write a different story, write hundreds of different stories if you have to, just get to the finish line for fucks sake. And planning? People talk about planning the book, making notes. Waste of time, just plough right in, include all the cock ups, the stuff that doesn’t make sense, just get the word count in.

That rant got me through a couple of milestones, two thousand for the day and twenty four thousand for the month, I might even manage ten thousand for the weekend, which would be a right result.

And what will I do with this afterwards, go back and edit it. Yeah right, I meant to do that in the two other years that I did this insane internet stunt, and did I, did I fuck. Maybe this will be a first, I’ve never written something and got feedback before it was finished.

Still, this year sees me ahead of schedule, maybe I’ll get the chance to edit this one in the last week, if I finish ahead of schedule. It will help me get through the feeling of absurd deflation I tend to feel after reaching fifty thousand words. And at nearly six thousand words ahead of schedule and not far short of page thirty seven in this A4 universe, I might just get the chance of a bit of November editing. I do feel good about this one, having some positive feedback whilst writing it is a real boost (thanks for the kind words Enzo - you’ll get your real name in the edit!) I can finish this, for the third year running, which I will be very pleased about, even though I have not done anything with the other two. Well, the first one might be able to turn into something decent, the second one, I’m not too sure about it to be honest. This year something keeps driving me on, like a carrot on a stick, to the next mini milestone, which is this case if the next page, after that it would the twenty five thousand mark, after that three thousand for the day, at ten thirty seven on Sunday evening, all those milestones are achieveable, if I don’t get distracted by the internets again, or decide to watch some telly, or even read a book. If none of those things deflect me, I’ll reach all of those milestones tonight. At the moment, I just want to see a fresh blank page, the thirty seventh one of the month, and it is very close. Of course if this ever got published, writing about page thirty seven wouldn’t appear on page thirty six, but I’m sure my readers are intelligent enough to work it out. I admire them all greatly, in a very real way. They are why I am going this, why I strive to get the words down, so that I can give pleasure to millions with my words. Will this page break ever fucking come, it’s driving me mad.

(ahhh it is here, page thirty seven)

Well nine thousand for the weekend is definitely on now, if I can be arsed.

I was going to end this weekend with a rant, maybe about teenagers being an alien race, I am forty two after all, they are an alien race to me. But that rant will have to wait for another day, today’s writing is just about over. But what a weekend, nine thousand plus words, a new nanowrimo personal best for me at well over six thousand. If it wasn’t for the pesky job I would have finished the thing by now, the pesky job, the pesky need to earn money, the pesky need to sleep, to eat, to pay the mortgage, to play scrabble on-line, to post shit on message boards. There’s a conspiracy to stop me finishing this thing.

Chapter twelve. November the twelfth

Blimey, just had a major scare, the computer seemed to crash, and I thought I had lost all this weekend’s work, and maybe lost about thirteen thousand words, maybe it all, as a system restore might have taken me back a few weeks. So I’m just going to email this just to be safe so that I have a back up. I’d have given up if this had been lost, half of the thing complete. I’m knackered, I want to go to bed, it’s just past one thirty on Monday morning, can’t get on-line, I’m not a happy bunny.

Well I managed to do all the above, find it, save it, and email it to myself to protect the first half of it. I think if I had lost it, I wouldn’t have had the inclination to start again and try and catch up. It’s good being ahead of the pace, it’s miserable playing catch up.

I was going to have a rant, but Charlie brooker does it so much better, I’ve been reading his book, “dawn of the dumb” basically two hundred odd pages of bile. He could write fifty thousand words with of bile in a few weeks, He could probably do a hundred thousand. He hates everybody, he seems, even himself, in fact sometimes he hates himself more than he hates everyone else .Although sometimes he does like things and people, and that is a pleasant surprise. He likes “the wire” which is a superior American drama, he likes Dr Who, he loves Billy Piper, he’s fond of Alan sugar, and Dragons Den, but pretty much despises anything else.

Twenty five thousand words, man that feels good, in less than twelve days as well, on course to finish on the twenty forth of November at this rate. Small problem of going away for the weekend on the twenty third, so might have to up the pace, to finish by the twenty second if possible. Then I can spend that weekend, concentrating on the weekend, rather than worrying about the word count. Maybe I’ll get to forty nine thousand seven hundred and fifty by then, two hundred and fifty words is nothing in the scheme of things, I could knock them off in twenty minutes I reckon.

Still, homeward bound and all that, I think I’m on course to finish my third nanowrimo on the trot, which is good, particularly after last night’s school boy error of not saving it separately, in case my computer crashed, which almost happened. So I have taken the precaution of sending it to two different email addresses, my gmail account and my hotmail account. Better safe than sorry.

I have a new friend on face book, Julia, saw my name on the nanowrimo face book group and asked to be my friend. I think she is struggling to get the words down, good luck to you Julia, I may well report your progress later, she had just over three thousand words when I last looked. I seem to be doing the best out of the people I know are doing it, maybe I’m just the most obsessed with the thing. And page thirty eight comes into view, always be positive and celebrate the little milestones, it adds to the word count after all, which is my driving force at the moment. Today I hope to get over two thousand words to keep up the daily rate, and to keep ahead of schedule. Another fifteen hundred or so words to go, and I’m not feeling as enthusiastic as I was over the weekend. Even a sub standard day today will keep me three days ahead, but we want more than that, don’t we guys?

I’ve just been on the nano boards, and saw a response to a post I made yesterday, someone had posted asking for people over the age of twenty five to respond to a survey, it didn’t look like they were actually taking part in nanowrimo, just looked a classic student desperate to get punters and doing what is known in the trade, as “spamming” boards to get a response. So I responded by saying something like, I‘ll do your survey if you finish, but that it looked like you were just registering to get the survey done. Someone responded, basically saying, nanowrimo was a supportive place, and I shouldn’t be worrying about someone else’s word count. An argument!! And despite knowing that arguing on internet message boards is pointless, I had to reply. Although i was in partial agreement - it is a lovely board, and mostly it is full of support.

My reply:

“I agree to a certain extend mountainbluebird, but this person doesn't appear to be taking part in nanowrimo, and seems to have registered on the boards for the sole reason of getting a survey done, now that to me, doesn't appear to be in the spirit of nanowrimo - if I am wrong, I'm happy to apologise to the person”

If I bother to look at that thread again, I will update you on the replies, and if the student does rear their head again, I’ll even print my apology on here if I am proved wrong. There’s magnanimous for you.

And with that message board nonsense, which remember was going to be the theme of this “novel” I find myself soaring past twenty five thousand five hundred words, and not far off the end of this page. Little steps, keep writing, whatever nonsense you want, just keep the word count growing and growing. I should make it to a thousand words today shortly, which is not great in the context of the month so far, but it’s only eight twenty in the evening, and I can probably get a real spurt on after ten in the evening. Plus I always feel better when the word count climbs into the thousand for the day, even better when it goes through two thousand of course, and better and better as the word count grows higher and higher. That’s a thousand, if I managed another sixteen hundred tonight, I will be four days ahead, it will be a struggle, I’ll be happy with two thousand to be honest. I’ll get through the twenty six thousand barrier tonight, and that is my main aim of the night, only two hundred odd to go. I’m not, as I said earlier, feeling all fired up tonight. For now, I’ll just try and make it to page thirty nine, taking little steps, to increase the word count, writing nonsense until the brand new virgin page appears and I can start to think of ways in which I can fill that new page, the last page in the thirties, the one before the big four zero. I have been through the big four zero before of course, and at the time I was a bit anxious, now I don’t give it a thought. I’m forty two, in six months I’ll be forty three, I’m happy enough with my life, I have good friends, and with that bit of age related nonsense, hello page thirty nine.

Excuse me while I go and admire the bats on autumn watch, and admire Kate Humble.

Well, very interesting, watching bats hibernating was surprisingly exciting, particularly when the male bats while being filmed by a thermal camera, suddenly woke up, turning from blow to red, flew off to find female bats, mated with them, leaving a warm glow to the females, then flew back and re-hibernated. Their version of that wake up in the middle of the night shag, always a winner. And with that interesting fact from the animal world, we soar through twenty six thousand, and suddenly thirty thousand words seems a lot closer. Still feels a little daunting, I’m impressed that I have got this far with no plot, or characters, no real story, can I keep up this con trick for another twenty four thousand words, I’ll give it a go. I’ll make the daily rate today, which is good enough for me, just to maintain the lead I have over the required daily word count rate, a few hundred on top will be good too. Keep at that rate all week will bring in another ten thousand, taking me to about thirty four/five thousand at the weekend ,when I hope to add another six thousand or so.

Popped away to play some scrabble, two wins take me closer again to my highest ranking, it’s another obsession of mine, this every November, and scrabble all year around. I thin reaching forty will do me tonight, I’m not after any writing records tonight, no massive word count, just slow and steady, this week, with maybe a bif four thousand day on Saturday, that will keep me edging closer and closer to the goal, the magical fifty thousand. Keep writing those ten more words, keep at it, and the word count creeps ever upward.

At the same time the word count sometimes gets to you, do I really want to sit here every day for thirty days, just typing away. What’s the point of nanowrimo, I guess the point is to write, without thinking, just wing it, keep writing, a plot is a bonus. I’m having real problems getting going this evening though, luckily just plodding away has got me close to sixteen hundred words which is just about the average daily rate, so even when I’m struggling I can produce a reasonable pile of words, which is a relief.

I’m more of a poet though, they get finished a lot quicker, and can contain a story in less than a hundred words, if there was a write thirty poems in a month, I’d find that a lot easier. Maybe I should just chuck some of my poetry in here. However, that would be stuff I have already written, surely it has to be new poetry, and I haven’t written any for a while, just haven’t been inspired. Now the pressure is on, I might just get inspired to verse. But not right now. Somehow I have managed to stumble through seventeen hundred words today, so again I’m writing in the profit zone, again it’s marked in bold on my excel spreadsheet to show me today has been a writing success, and it’s getting me slightly further ahead of schedule, and closer to the start of page forty, another mini milestone, as long as these mini-milestones are close enough, another page, another five hundred words, they are worth aiming for, and they soon start to add up. After the end of page, it will be two thousand words soon afterwards, then it really is gravy time today. Although I think I might stop and watch some rubbish tv if I get to the two thousand mark, it’s a respectable total for a work day, and gets me slightly ahead of schedule, slightly closer to the end. Closer to twenty seven thousand as well, which is ever closer to thirty thousand. Since the end of this page has neared, I have suddenly put a minor spurt on as I don’t think I can stop until the fresh new page appears, which hopefully will be the next line, or the one after that. Hopefully it is soon as I want to get out of this room for a while, and watch some rubbish TV, and here it is page forty. Just checked the spread sheet and I’m just about four days ahead now, so now I have to stretch it a bit further and get a week ahead. Never be satisfied.

Two thousand would be a good place to stop tonight, a pleasing total, a total to be mildly proud of. Not a total to jump about and shout about. A total to have a quiet celebration about, a cup of tea and a Jaffa cake maybe. And I’ve done it, if only I had some Jaffa cakes. And sixteen more words takes care of Friday’s total, so I’m now four days ahead. Keep plugging away, keep writing away, and inch by inch you cover the ground. That’s good not far off seven thousand words ahead of schedule, and now that is going to gnaw at me, should I try and get seen thousand ahead in the next hour, it’s eleven at night, and I don’t think I have that in me to be honest. Still a minor day will get me past twenty eight thousand words tomorrow, a good day, like today has become will get me close to twenty nine thousand.

That’s it for tonight, let’s see what tomorrow brings.

Chapter Thirteen: Tuesday November the thirteenth.

The month nears the midway point and I find myself well over the midway point in terms of word count. I wasn’t able to add to the count today as annoyingly I wasn’t in the office much today so could produce a cheeky five hundred words to add to the word count file. I was thinking about this on the journey home, I hadn’t thought about nanowrimo all day, apart from posting on urban75 when a few people said they had read the excerpt on the nanowrimo site and enjoyed it. I’ll have to check on urban again later on to give them a name check. Always thank people for saying nice things, something my mum might have said, I don’t think she actually said that, she should have done. Better to have said that than stalk me when I am having a cheeky smoke, eh mum? And that brings me to the first milestone of the night, twenty seven thousand words, eating into the word count now, although I can never relax, I have to keep hammering away at this task.

They joy of writing, and to be fair, although this is an internet challenge, and grinding sometimes, having to write night after night to please the word count god, writing can be joyous. If you are on a roll, and the characters are spinning out of you, their dialogue is rich and witty, there is mystery aplenty, and intrigue, and you manage to write convincing sex scenes. Yes, when all that happens, and you forget where you are, you only exist on the page , in the minds of your characters. That is a good place to be, even if you are writing about serial killers.

Would I like to write every day for a living, damn right I would. I might miss the banter in the office, and I do love a bit of banter, but I wouldn’t miss the hum drum stuff, the tedious administrative tasks, the journey every day, although to be fair, I can walk to work, so I can’t compare myself to commuter monkeys who travel for several hours every day, and then have to endure the tedium. I decided years ago, to find work closer to home, and I have managed to do that. Mind you, working full-time as a writer would be about as close to home as I could get, maybe I would build a revolving shed to write in if I ever made it, I think George Bernard Shaw had one.

How many will I add today, I’m not far short of five hundred now and I only started thirteen minutes ago, it is seven forty four, so I’m doing well tonight, they are flowing, so maybe another two thousand is on the cards. And I have vanquished page forty, and I am in the startingly bright world of page forty one. So that and five hundred words means two mini milestones already. If I can get past twenty eight thousand tonight I’ll be happy with that, that will be another six hundred odd words. That won’t be a two thousand words day, and that would be what I prefer, it’s whether I can be arsed to get there, that is the issue. My output has increased in the second week of nanowrimo, after the first seven days, I’d managed about twelve thousand seven hundred, in the last sis days, my fingers have somehow pounded out over fifteen thousand words. Thanks mainly to little twenty minute sessions like tonight, where I have managed five or six hundred words

There was I talking about the love of writing, and the joy when you got lost amongst the words. Trouble is, I can’t get lost amongst them tonight, too much other stuff going on, real life stuff, work stuff, to really write well ,I think I need to be relaxed, to forget all the other stuff, unless I specifically want to writ about it, which hi don’t. Well, not at the moment, if I have an hour to get the last thousand words down, I’ll give anything a go. So Tuesday is proving to be a problem , I have struggled to seen hundred words, and can’t see a way to a the magic two thousand. Whilst I can afford the odd off day, the haymaking I did , will; not last long if every day turns out like this, and some days, I won’t be able to write at all, if a pub beckons me with open arms and a warm embrace. I haven’t even got any mini milestones to urge me on, the bottom of this page seems miles away, twenty thousand words even longer. This nano warrior feels weak. Yet even in that weakness I console myself with the fact that I will have the odd day like this, when conditions aren’t that favourable to massive word counts, but other days will be. And if I keep struggling away, and write about the struggling, I keep the word count ticking away. Afterall, this is about one man’s struggle to get to fifty thousand words, and it needs to have some struggle in it. And here is it is! I can’t think of anything to write about, apart from writing about the fact that I can’t think of anything to write about.

And with that struggle, that meander, that desperation, I suddenly see some milestones ahead, the end of this page and twenty eight thousand words, and a thousand words for the day, all now close to getting. Sixty words will get me to a thousand for the day, two hundred will get me to twenty eight thousand, and probably to page forty two. A great page since it corresponds to my current age. If I get there, maybe I should just write about how it feels to be forty two. It’s something I know a lot about, I’ve lived it since April. Maybe the next page will be a inspiration to the younger reader, it’s not all bad news you know. That feels better, I have got to the thousand words, a significant victory given my reluctance to write tonight, but still the bottom of the page seems a long way away, and twenty eight thousand might appear before the magnificence of page forty two. These little milestones drive me on, I’ll deserve a little nano treat if I get to the twenty eight thousand and to the bottom of the page. A bottle of wychcraft blonde beer would go down well, I am liking this product placement, If Wychwood want to send me any of their excellent ale, I will all too gladly accept it. I actually went to their brewery in the summer and did the tour, couldn’t drink very much, a few sips, really, as I was driving. But they will be glad to know that I have regularly bought it since, and wuchcraft blonde beer is an excellent beer to celebrate a few mini milestones with. I have just finished one I started earlier, there is one left which I will open any minute now. Plus if there are any other mini milestones reached, fifteen hundred for the day, twenty nine thousand words, and the glory of page forty two, I have other excellent ales to name drop. Welcome to page forty two. Welcome also to twenty eight thousand words, thirty is now very reachable

So even on an evening when I feel desperately uninspired, I manage to cobble together enough words to satisfy my current lust for word count. It’s not a record breaking day, but if I manage this on the bad days, other big days will compensate for it. I’m only about three hundred short of the magical one thousand six hundred and sixty seven and might indeed make it there, I have two hours in which to cobble together some more words, I don’t actually feel that desperate for words now. I could finish here right now tonight and not feel too bad, but I won‘t. The accumulation of words drives me on, the hitting of mini milestones drives me on, the fifty thousand word target drives me on. The third successful year of nanowrimo drives me on. I don’t want to not complete this, it is a silly internet stunt, but once I start on this road, I want to finish it. Plus I am only sixty words short of maintaining by four day lead, and as I have said, probably many times before this month, it is important to stay ahead of schedule. Playing catch up is not a lot of fun. Another three hundred words would get me seven thousand ahead of schedule, that is the last mini milestone I want to hit tonight.

I won’t get there, I’m procrastinating (first use of that classic nanowrimo problem) I keep thinking of something better to do than write stuff. I just suggested to someone on the nanowrimo forum that to boost your word count you could either have a rant, write some dialogue, or some ranty dialogue. I fele a bit too tired and uninspired to have a rant, and since this whole thing is basically me talking to myself, I can’t have a dialogue, it is dialogue, with myself.

I will make the daily required word count rate now though, I’m only a hundred words short and they come pretty quickly, whatever rubbish I am writing, I’ve only git forty five minutes to do it though, so it will be tight, because I want to do some stupid stuff , like play scrabble, post inane rubbish on message boards, and that is precisely what I am going to do when I get through the next one hundred blasted words. Plus by writing the magic daily figure, I do not fall behind, and manage to stay the current four days ahead of schedule. I now I’m going to struggle to write two thousand a day until the weekend, when I’m hoping to write an awful lot of words, to help me coast towards the forty thousand mark, and the long run home.

Done it, still four days ahead, ahead slightly on the word count for the day, another bold number in the spread sheet, fourth day in a row, and eight days out of the last nine. That’s the way to do nanowrimo. Consistently hit an above average word count, I think I generally manage it at least fifteen times over the month, and so far in thirteen days, I have managed it nine times. And twenty eight more words will get me seven thousand ahead of schedule, the most I have been ahead all month, that other milestone I was hoping to hit tonight, and I have nailed it. Keep getting a couple of hundred above schedule this week, and by the weekend I should be nearly eight thousand ahead, and with a decent five thousand weekend possible, maybe ten thousand ahead. With thirty six minutes left of the day, and the struggle I have had tonight to write, it’s another great result. I kept plugging away, writing nonsense, but plugging away is what gets you to the finish line, and today I have been a champion at plugging away.

Tomorrow I have a major milestone within reach the big thirty thousand, twenty nine thousand as well, and if I get particularly inspired, thirty one thousand is very possible, and I’m just about to hit page forty three (there did it, with the word “hit“, now that is good timing. The fifty thousandth line of this here book might just be end, after the, when I finish the damn thing. I am going to hit two thousand tonight, which will prompt more self congratulatory pats on the back. I never thought I’d hit the two thousand when I started this evening, but there you go,. I did. Fourth day in a row as well, I’m just eating up these words, the milestones are just falling away. I’ll leave twenty nine thousand for tomorrow, it makes an easy to achieve mini milestone to set me off on the road to thirty thousand.