Q ~ Speaking German

Kohnt ihr mich mit dem wagen abholen? is the only German phrase I
know
Which is great if you want a lift back from somewhere

But not so useful when:

Buying stamps in the post office
Booking an appointment at the dentists
Ordering a pizza from a company using the phone book
Or buying a ticket for the cinema

After three years of German lessons I decided not to take it any
further
My acquaintance with the language all but ended then
Apart from one phrase

Kohnt ihr mich mit dem wagen abolen? stayed put, and lodged itself in
my mind
I would love an opportunity to use it for real

But could I reply to:

Fine, but where do you want dropping off?
Yes, it'll be ten euros
Well, I'm going on somewhere and you're welcome as well, but I won't be
driving home till about three at least so -
I'm not sure I'm going your way. OK go on

Vocabulary tests followed one another like a herd of wildebeest
Escaping across a plain of blank faces, in flight from the smirking
teacher (who spoke only German during lessons)
I found myself lost, stuck but for one phrase

Kohnt ihr mich mit dem wagen abholen? always would stand me in good
stead
Stated with conviction, at sensible intervals, it brought a breath of
authenticity

But what if he asked:

Have you learnt your vocab list?
Are you booked on the German trip?
Have you brought your money for the deposit?
Why don't you just listen and pay attention?

Now when I recite the phrase to friends as part of schoolboy past
It brings a look of wonder and, oh you've done well to remember that, I
don't know any French and I studied it for five years
I can't help feeling that four hours a week for three years could have
taught me more than one phrase

Kohnt ihr mich mit dem wagen abholen?

Yes, but do you want sugar with it?