Chapter 4.3 The Test

Rowan sat on a bench with her back against the marble wall outside Dean Winter’s office. The cold of the stone was cooling her hot skin. Her body temperature must’ve gone up a few degrees after spending ten minutes hyperventilating in the bathroom. She’d made a quick stop at the library before dragging herself to the dean's office, hoping to gain some clarity regarding her exam, but there was a group of four already having a heated discussion as she walked up. She could see Melanie. This had to be about her. She took a seat to listen.

Dean Winters had always been a source of support for Rowan. She had known her grandmother, she was a teacher when Diane was a student at the academy, and they had worked for the Commission together at one time or another. Dean Winters was particularly supportive after Rowan’s father died. Being a Sage, she could sense the depth of Rowan’s pain. Rowan’s head felt like a ball of tangled, knotted yarn. Surely, she had some insight that could bring some solace in the moment. Rowan would be happy to see one of those “Hang in There” cat posters that hung in every high school guidance counselor’s office in the country.

 The tests administrators, including Melanie, had gathered there after the major failure that was Rowan’s Sentinel exam, presumably to discuss the destroyed testing equipment and damage done to the auxiliary gym. Rowan’s stomach twisted. She was certain that blowing up the testing equipment, splitting a giant crack in the gym ceiling, and scaring the shit out of the administrator weren’t indicators of promising results. Rowan had made it through five years at the academy by putting her head down and devoting herself to what would be the eventual outcome of this test. with stellar grades and field work simulations.

Hopeful, but realistic, she clutched her regulator pin in her hand, repeatedly checking to see if her results would develop. She knew the chances of becoming a Sage or a Tether were unlikely, which she wasn’t disappointed about.

“Diane will be here soon, I’m sure she can give us some guidance on what happened here,” dean Winters said.

“Oh goddamnit” Rowan said, suddenly realizing she’d spoken out loud. They called mom. Why the fuck would they call her? Rowan wasn’t going to wait for her to show up.

“She’ll want to speak with the test administrator. That was you, Melanie?” Dean Winters asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” Melanie responded nervously. Rowan immediately felt a wash of empathy for her. It wasn’t Melanie’s fault. Although she didn’t know how, Rowan knew she was responsible for what happened.

“I followed protocol. I cleared the results from the student prior, wiped the equipment and kept the machine in stasis until I attached the nodes, then calibrated it for Ms. Barclay. It took a bit longer than I was expecting, but that’s not un…” Melanie stopped mid-sentence.

“Diane, hi. Thank you for coming. Always great to see you.” Dean Winters said in an inappropriately sunny tone. Fuck, what am I still doing here Rowan thought to herself.

Rowan was surprised by how quickly Diane arrived at the school. She was about to take off outside, wanting to call Kyle when Diane started speaking. She sat still on the bench outside the office, her back pressed against the calming chill of the marble.

“And you, Leona, of course. I had a speaking engagement over in Erie, so I got here as soon as I could. I appreciate that you contacted me to help sort this… thing out,” Diane said wearily. “So, my daughter. Where is she, by the way?”

“In the library, according to Penny. Rowan must’ve gone there after Melanie left to speak with us,” Dean Winters signaled at the head administrator and her team of administrators from the Commission. “She called down to ask if something had happened. She said Rowan appeared to be in a state of shock. When she passed Penny’s desk, her eyes were red and puffy like she’d been crying.”

“Of course she was. I can’t imagine how she’s feeling right now,” Rowan’s heart twinged at Diane’s statement. She felt the urge to run to her mother and break down into a pile of skin and tears.

“Excuse me, Mrs. Barclay,” Melanie spoke up, “Rowan’s eyes were bleeding.”

A sudden increase of tension rolled through the office like a dense fog. Rowan could feel it spill out into the hallway. It was in that moment that Rowan realized the office door was still open and that she should probably make herself scarce.

“A lot of kids get bloody noses. It’s not unusual,” Melanie said in attempt to release some of the pressure in the room.

“But you said her eyes were bleeding. That’s a significant difference,” Diane stated. “Has she been seen by the nurse?”

“I informed the nurses and asked for them to tend to Rowan while she was in the gym,” Melanie responded, “but when they got to the gym, she was already gone.”

“I’m guessing she fled to the library from the gym. Libraries and bookstores,” Diane said, “her safe places.”

“Should I have Penny send for her?” Leona asked Diane.

“I’m not sure my presence here will improve her state of mind,” Diane said, “let’s hold off on that. If I know my daughter, her nose is buried in a book, looking for some kind of explanation.”

Diane wasn’t wrong. The library had always been a place of solace for Rowan. She loved the smell of the old books, the way the pages felt between her fingers as she flipped through them. She felt comfort in knowing that she could find the answer to almost any question.

“I need to speak to the test administrator and anyone who might’ve seen what happened,” this wasn’t a question, this was a demand.

“How are tests being interpreted these days? This sort of thing used to happen all the time.” Rowan was surprised to hear Diane say this. How would she know?

“In fact, Rowan’s grandmother, my mother Ruth, had a very similar testing experience.” Rowan’s interested piqued with her mother’s statement.

The head administrator, a small woman with blonde hair and a red face broke in, “when your mother took her exam, our equipment was much more rudimentary at that time,” Rowan could hear the frustration in her voice.

“The basic principles are still the same, correct?”

“Well, yes. Technically,” the head administrator began to respond to Diane.

"Technically is close enough for me in this situation," Diane’s retort came quickly.

“I see what you’re getting at, but those machines were incredibly simplistic by today’s standards. The results were often be misread,” she said with an air of desperation.

 “There should be a recording of my mother’s test in the Commission archives. Yes, I think there is. As far as the damage is concerned, we can pay for that. Just let me know…”

“No, Diane, the school with pay for that. I’m just happy no one was hurt. Now could we maybe take that trip to the archives and check on the recording of Ruth’s Sentinel exam?

“I’ll call Clara right now to see if she can pull it for us,” It’s likely filed under her maiden name, Beck, Ruth Beck.

“Excellent!” Dean Winters nearly shouted. Dean Winters and the test administration team gathered their things, waiting as Diane made the call to the archive.

Rowan needed to see that footage.  

“Hi Clara,” Diane said holding up a finger to Dean Winters seemed to have a question for her. Just one minute Diane mouthed, “Yeah, Clara, can you do me a favor? Yeah, can you pull a few records for me along with the video recordings for Ruth Anderson?"

“My mother, yeah. Oh, but those would probably be filed under her maiden name. It’s Beck, Ruth Beck. If not, obviously… check Anderson, yes.”

Diane waited on the phone for a minute while she continued gathering her things. She was tapping her pen on Dean Winter’s desk.  

“Oh, thank you so much, Clara,” Diane said while shaking her head as if Clara could see her.

“We’ll leave now, so see you in maybe ten minutes. Okay. Okay, yes, perfect. Okay, bye Clara. Yes, Clara, we can talk about it when I get there. Bye!” Diane hung up the phone looking tired.

“Okay everyone, Clara is pulling the records for us. Let’s get down the to the archives,” Diane told the group while grabbing her bag to search for her keys.

Dean Winters shook her head in acknowledgment while she spoke to the head testing admin. Melanie was standing with them looking drained and worried.

“See you there everyone,” she yelled to the group as they started for the door. Rowan realized that she should’ve left before her mother called the Commission office. Panicking, she ran down the hall and around the corner into the main hall. Coming around the corner, she saw Diane exit the main office door. She’d been waiting outside the side door of the Dean’s office, completely forgetting about the main office entrance.

Fuck! The main office, what am I thinking? In order to avoid Diane and the caravan of educators behind her, she doubled back to get to the student parking lot. She needed to get into the archives, that was where she would find answers. As she drove home, schemes danced around in her head, each one markedly wilder than the next.