How to lose weight

Do not help people
in return they will never
buy
boxes of Quality Street
to say thank-you

be
rude to all
at the dinner party
you will never be
invited back
as they sit, laughing, eating
five
course meals
you can stay home
eat lettuce
drink water

don't
socialise
never make new friends
lose old
ones
you will never be phoned up
to go for a few
drinks
while they stop off for a kebab
while waiting
for a taxi
you can stay at home
and examine your waistline.