Things I'm gonna miss about this place...

I'm real excited and buzzing about leaving here; but there are a few
things I'm gonna miss about this place:

* I'm gonna miss the artistic graffitti and sublime poetry on the bus
shelters

* catching the 57, 58 and 59 buses - especially at night

* being spoilt for choice by the wide range of products on the shelves
of the local Costcutters

* the difficult decision of whether to buy a bunch of mouldy bananas or
walk 20 minutes to the Spar

* the frustration of walking to the Spar - especially when it's
raining

* the Matchborough chippy, which is a pretty good chippy actually...
it's never won any: 'Best Chipshop in Great Britain Awards' - but that
doesn't matter cos it still rocks and we all love it man

* Redditch bus station - especially at night

* the deep feelings of inner peace, and inspiration I get from the
architectural wonders of this town and the picturesque housing
estates

* the creativity this town inspires in me, the passion - the euphoric
tendencies

* the feelings of joy, as I walk along the busy roads listening to the
endless traffic, breathing in the carbon monoxide

* the sense of well-being I get strolling through the Kingfisher
Shopping Centre

* Matchborough pond - Sea, who wants the bloody sea when you can have a
pond. It's a lovely pond as well, has garbage and a shopping trolley
floating on it. Is so nice to know that the people round here care
about the environment

* I'll miss the local pub, even though I've never actually been in it -
I'll still miss it. It's called: 'The Old Sticky Wicket' -- always
thought that was a nice name

* the long trek to the laundrette with a bag full of washing - the
motivation I feel, the enjoyment

* cooking on my electronic ring in a mess tin - dreaming of what life
could be like if I had a cooker

* fearing that my fridge is gonna explode any minute

* waking up sometimes to hear Colin and Julie: my neighbours upstairs -
pissing

* Colin and Julie banging on the ceiling, telling me to be fucking
quiet; saying my music is too loud, when it's not my music at all -
it's the person next door

* Colin and Julie banging on my front door telling me to be fucking
quiet

* calmly explaining to Colin and Julie as they stand in my doorway in
their dressing gowns, that the music is coming from next door

* Colin and Julie banging on the person nextdoor's door, telling
him/her to be fucking quiet

* the person next door ignoring Colin and Julie

* Colin's annoying laugh when he's watching the telly, and how it
grates me

* Colin's annoying primate grunting "huh-huh-huh!" he makes when he's
watching the football on telly, and the way he stamps his feet on the
floor in accompaniment

* how much I want to bang on my ceiling and tell Colin to be fucking
quiet

* cold callers asking me if I want to buy a mobile phone package,
double glazing, insurance; or if I would like to sell raffle tickets
for charity - or answer a few questions for a survey

* telling cold callers that I don't want a mobile phone cos they're bad
for your health, and can give you brain tumours

* double glazing - I'm on the dole and only have five pounds collected
in 2p's and 1p's in a jar on my window sill, and would that be
enough

* insurance - I am 12 years old and haven't yet got my head round the
concept of money

* I can't sell raffle tickets cos I'm suffering from a rare eating
disorder to do with paper

* or answer a few questions for a survey cos I'm dieing for a
piss

* the cobwebs

* the bottles piled up waiting to be recycled

* my neighbours dogs yapping outside

* the haunted telephone: which has a habit of sometimes making creepy
noises, and ringing people up in the middle of the night

* people ringing me back in the middle of the night asking me what I
want

* wiping the sleep from my eyes and trying to explain to them that I
didn't call them; that it must have been the ghost in my phone

* nobody believing that I have a haunted telephone

* the manager of the local store whose always pissed out of his head
every time I see him

* the friendly staff at the local post office, who are always eager to
help

* sitting and camping in my flat at night; cause the emergency credit
on the electric token meter has run out

* spending over an hour the next morning trying to find a shop that
will sell me electricty tokens, cause every shop I go to says that
their card machine isn't working

* trying to sleep at night sometimes, when the person nextdoor is
playing his/her loud music

fuck I'll miss this town...