Key Changes for the Tone Deaf

The Damned University is an educational establishment of the highest order. Being the only place of learning for the dead it is filled with all manner of people who declare themselves experts in the most obtuse, bizarre, nonsensical and in some cases macabre of fields.
Of particular debate is the question of where exactly the land of the dead exists. This being at once unanswerable, because every point of reference conceived begins in the land of the living, but also largely irrelevant to the workings of anything either within the land of the dead, or outside of it. Unfortunately the same argument has been posed many times in regards to astronomy and space travel, for this reason, and this alone, it is still a subject worth debate.
Enter then the head of Necrogeographics who begins his first year lectures with the following diatribe;
“If we were to draw life as a race, the human race perhaps, then there would be a clear finish line. The object of the race would doubtless be to arrive at the finish line as slowly as possible. Any sensible person would choose not to be in the race or to run the race in the opposite direction and so our theoretical model falls down. Let us hypothesise for a moment then that the race takes place on one of those moving walkways prevalent at airports, and that the walkways are incredibly crowded, with me so far?”
“Well if the walkway is moving inexorably towards the finish line it is impossible to avoid the end, which is the sole purpose of the walkway. Now when we reach the end of the walkway and cross the line we enter duty free there is a huge range of shops where we can spend the remaining change we have left over from being alive. So we have time to pick up some whisky for Great great great great granddad or maybe a few hundred cigarettes now that they really can’t harm you anymore. Then we have the departures and finally we have the place you arrive at, which is Gloomwood.”
This fairly absurd introduction to understanding the position of the land of the dead is unfortunately the most clearly explained and easy to understand description of what actually happens when people die. Well when people die and end up in Gloomwood at least.
It was with this theory in mind that Angus Ableforth, a seventh century monk who had died while attempting to break the land speed record, decided to try and fight against the moving walkway by sending a message from beyond the grave to his great great grandson informing him that he and his family should jump over the side. Misinterpreting the message James Ableforth found himself in Gloomwood only three hours after having jumped over the side of a cross-channel ferry on it’s way to Dover, his family were not stupid enough to follow him.
Bitterly disappointed in the actions of his Great Great Grandson Angus Ableforth sought him out to ensure his deceased kin understood how foolish he had been. Upon finding James he was shocked to learn that the younger Ableforth blamed him for his death and so ensued a great battle between the Ableforths Senior and Junior. The result of this bizarre scuffle was the first murder in the land of the dead.
Describing it as murder is of course an over-simplification as the victim was certainly already dead, all the same his existence was snuffed out and Ableforth junior was sentenced to Death without parole, a sentence he was already serving.
The heinous crime committed was considered unforgiveable and in turn the term “murder” was believed inadequate, instead, over time, the destruction of another by deliberate action within the land of the dead became known as Ableforth.
As an aside to this the University decided to suspend the head of Necrogeographics until he had designed a new basic introduction to the subject and all communications between the land of the living and dead were banned, those breaking this ban are punishable by incarceration equal to that received for committing Ableforth.