Roger Hur

Roger Hur

Roger Hur
Lives in his bachelor pad
No chance of a wife
Coz his language is bad,
His attitude's dirty
Like the whole of his flat
His last girlfriend dumped him
Coz he's a fat, lazy twat,

This story takes place
On a cold Friday night
Roger's down the pub
On his 8th or 9th pint,
In walks a Bird
Whose Assets are vast
Prompting Roger and pals
To wolf whistle fast,

"Show us ya Puppies!"
Shout the tanked up crew
"Or how about a suck
On my Big Bamboo?"
"She Floats the Boat" -
A comment from Roger
"I'd like to Flick her Bean
While she Tugs on my Todger -

Bet she could Clear the Custard
From my Family Jewels,
Bet she plays Hide the Salami
With K9 rules!
I'd love a munch
On her Hairy Pie,
Oi, come 'ere beautiful
Don't be shy!"

But this charming lady
Paid no attention
To the pervy comments
Some too rude to mention.
And some time later
Whilst Draining the Vein,
Roger Hur
Saw the Beauty again

She was stood up in the gents
With her bits hanging out
Through his Beer Goggles
Hur gave a shout -
"That birds a bloke!
I'm gonna be sick
And to think that's where
I wanted to put my dick!"

"That'll teach you to leer
Over a Bird and her Baps
Never again
Should you perv over Flaps,
Still wanna use me
As your F***ing Machine?
Is the Cadbury Alley
More your scene?"

Roger Hur
Ran and ran,
Turned by the experience
Into a brand new man,
Never again
Did he lower the tone,
Scared of where he'd end up
Putting his Trouser Trombone.