Jimmy Was Afraid

Jimmy Was Afraid

Jimmy was afraid of war, but not like he was afraid of monsters or
ghosts or witches. He had learned that it took just one good scream and
Mom and Dad would come running. Monsters and ghosts and witches were
afraid of Mom and Dad, and, Jimmy suspected, of grownups in
general.

Jimmy was not afraid of anything he could scream at, not even the
trains anymore. He used to think the trains were angry and mean, but
one day he walked right up to one and screamed at the engine. The train
puffed and hissed and dinged, but all in all it didn't seem to mind, so
Jimmy didn't mind it either.

Jimmy was afraid of bombs, even though he liked their shape. They
reminded him of raindrops and Jimmy liked rain, the heavier the better.
But Jimmy knew that bombs are much bigger than raindrops, big like
baseball bats and they hurt too. Jimmy's brother punched him in the
nose once. That hurt. Jimmy tried to imagine big raindrops like
baseball bats that hit him in the nose, but he didn't like that.

Jimmy also knew that bombs make fire, and that's a lot of what scared
him. He saw pictures of Pompeii in school once. There were grey statues
that the teacher said used to be people. Jimmy looked close at the
faces, and he could tell they were screaming, but the screaming didn't
stop the fire. That scared him.

Jimmy liked the sun. He liked it just as much as the rain, the brighter
the better. His teacher told him the sun is a big ball of fire. Jimmy
tried to imagine bombs like little suns raining down, but he knew it
wouldn't be that pretty.

Besides, Jimmy didn't quite believe his teacher. He liked to think of
the sun as a giant gold tooth. Jimmy wasn't afraid of gold teeth at
all, not even when the other teeth were missing. When he'll have made a
million dollars the first thing Jimmy will buy will be a gold tooth,
maybe two or three. Best of all Jimmy was pretty sure he wouldn't have
to brush them, but he didn't tell his parents that.

Jimmy didn't tell his parents when he forgot to brush his teeth. He
lied about it, and, sometimes, he was sorry. But Jimmy's parents didn't
tell him everything either. Most of the time he didn't mind. As long as
they knew. When he asked why he couldn't eat cereal before dinner
Jimmy's mom said it was bad for him. Jimmy asked why bad, and she said
it just was. He knew there was more to it and he even acted mad, but
really he didn't mind. Jimmy knew his mom knew, and that was
okay.

Jimmy got scared when his parents found him looking at a book about
World War I. At first he thought it was from a movie, but he never saw
anything in a movie like the pictures in that book.

When his parents saw him it didn't scare him like the time they caught
him looking up dirty words in the dictionary. That kind of scared made
his ears throb and his lips quiver. That time his parents had come in
with stern faces, straight mouths and frowning eyes.

When they found him looking at the book it was different, and worse.
First his dad looked at his mom, then she looked back, then they both
looked at him. They weren't mad. This time they had wide eyes and their
mouths turned down a little at the corners. It scared Jimmy right in
the middle and made it hard to breath. Jimmy could tell they didn't
know, didn't have anything planned to say. He could tell their faces
looked just like his.

Finally, Jimmy's dad took the book, closed it and put it away. He
called it yucky grownup stuff and said not to worry. Then they all sat
down, Jimmy on the couch between his mom and dad. Their faces were
blank but not so scary as before.

Then Jimmy's mom winked at his dad, and his dad winked back. They let
him see it, Jimmy could tell. All of sudden Jimmy felt four hands
tickling. He squeaked and twisted and laughed. He even forgot about the
book.

But still, ever since, Jimmy has been afraid of war.