Surviving The Pre Travel Freak Out

At time of writing “this here blog” I am about to embark on my round the world trip. Packing and last minutes purchases are taking place, checking the passport is still on my desk and has not decided to grow wings and disappear into the either. List making is in full progress, decisions are been made on what to and not to take. Frantic trips up to embassy’s are needed because of course there is that one last bloody visa I forgot about.

As I stand wedged into the corner of a central line tube train keeping myself from staring at the hottest girl I think I have ever seen, I find myself contemplating the places I will get to see , the places that I have only dreamed of and experience things that can only happen when you are on the road. Amazing right?

“yes” I hear you cry and you would be right. But we are forgetting this is me and of course there is a “Yet” and that yet would be the nagging feeling of “oh S**t, f**k, fanny, bastard” building up inside me.

Until recently it has felt like I am off on my holidays. But its not quite like that is it, I am going for 6 months. 6 MONTHS, I am putting my life on hold not for the custom 2 weeks when you swan off on holiday, but for a some what longer period. This as you can imagine is some what more tricky and for me “errrr yeah, ahhhhhh”.

Now the hair is been torn out, who needs a bloody hair cut. I begin to realise just how long I am away, and I know, annoyingly once I am on the road it will fly by, but even so it’s a long period to be away from all I know and love, and that is daunting to say the least. I begin to experience the feeling you get when you go away, have I done everything, what haven’t I done. We all get it, but at the moment I am at 10 on the freak out scale. Of course been a typical bloke I have left all of it to the last minute which only adds to the tension, and of course I being a bloke it not my fault.

Then there are all the guide books I have piled on my desk, have I made notes from them, of course I have not, did I intend to? Yes but I also intend to win the lotto on Wednesday followed by the euro millions on Friday, then buying a DB9 or two on the Saturday (remember our deal Nicki). All good intensions I know but I think the chances are wee bit low of carrying them all out.

So time to take a reality check. Deep breath, happy place woo-sarrr, woo-sarr. Now I am going away for six months, yes it is scary stuff, if I was not a little bit scared I would not be human. The truth of the matter is this, I am going to have an incredible time, meet new people who will probably end up been friends for life. Learn new things about myself and how to stand on my own two feet. After all is this not why we all do this crazy, mad, totally insane trips. This is what I need to hold on to. I need to recall the excitement I first felt when I realised I was actually going to see these places. Yes me, I, Mr Keithy will see these places with my own eyes.

In order to get on the plane, I need to counter act this nagging arse sucking feeling. What to do, well here are my tips, yes I am giving tips already and I have not even left yet.

First thing, drag good friend who got you into this mess in first place out of her life and make her do penance by making lists for you. “What I am a man, when have men ever done lists?”

Second book extremely expensive hotel for first two nights, been in luxury before descending into squalor, should ensure I don’t develop temporary insanity and jump on the first plane back home.

Thirdly have extremely expensive and rather dilatable Single Malt Scotch Whisky to hand. Warning this can be costly as it takes large quantities to ensure the brain numbing effect and sleep.

So with all this in mind I set out, if some what drunkenly on what will be a life changing experience which will give me experiences I will remember for the rest of my life.

See you all in six months