Falling

Something that cannot be taught
More than intellectual thought
Something that I cannot learn
Must wait for my distant turn

I know not yet how it is done
Still waiting for my time to come
Cannot practise, cannot try
Only watch with heavy sighs

As others pass along the way
Hoping, wishing for my day
Some fall only halfway down
Before they stop and turn around

Still they have my jealousy
I cry out 'When will it be me?'
Once I thought I fell, then saw
I had not even pushed the door

That led to this profound abyss
At the end a final kiss?
The end has always puzzled me
Its existence a mystery

Perhaps there is no end at all
Just a deep, eternal fall
The edge bars me from seeing far
Past the light and shining stars

But as I stare I want to know
Where the sparkling depths will go
The walls reflect my echoed call
'Let me go - I want to fall!'