Eggs and Father Tomas!

Date - unwise to say

Place - Safeway's supermarket again unwise to say !!!

Shopping is not exactly my best chore. In fact I would go so far as to
say, even though being female and supposedly having a like for it, I
personally detest it no matter what, that is with the exception of
purchasing of book's but I especially detest grocery shopping. So in an
effort to do this otherwise dreadful so called female occupation. I
enforce the other's, male and female from my strange household to join
me. Basically to either drive me further up the wall of madness or just
so as to make sure I get what we actually need. I do make a list but
have a tendency to leave the blasted thing behind, being as unorganised
as I am. I have been known to use my mobile whilst shopping and phone
home to get a full load down as I go. I
think that has something to do with why we end with thirty odd tins of
baked beans at the end of the week and an equal amount of tinned
peaches!.

On this particular terrible occasion, it being a sunny day, I wanted
more than anything not to have to do the dreaded job. So I'd decided on
or should I say enforcing to join me on the deplorable escape, my
darling daughter, better known as Kaz to her friends, 'Sticks' to me
and HIM, Ed otherwise known to all as the brave man who puts up with
me!.

Anyway for those of you who don't know me I am by nature a naturally
playful person, I can
be quite grouchy but mainly, I'm normally a 'smiley' kind of person who
everyone seems to head for. On this particular day I was quite happy
and bemused myself whilst doing the shopping with my normal flirting
teasing attitude, knowing this would land me in some trouble at some
stage. It normally does!. I'd already been given the censoring look by
one women shopper for grabbing Ed and making him jump sky high, let
alone the exhaling a sudden shriek thus making people turn to see what
was going on. The woman had seen what I had done and therefore I could
not act the innocent, but, well, we where standing in front of the
mellon's and therefore I did need to check my squeezing tactics on
something!. He just didn't have to draw everyone's attention to the
fact that my hand had accidentally on purpose slipped !. I did however
get the naughty grin, one I would expect from a man whose just had his
..... checked for freshness!.

There was not however total uproar. No, that didn't happen until we got
the eggs. I did
however pull another male follower, who seemed to be everywhere I went
in the shop. He had according to Kaz, who informed me when we sat in
the car afterwards in the midst of her tirade of reprimands, that he
had witnessed the 'mellon incident' as well as the 'eggs'!.

The Eggs. The rest of the shopping went rather pleasantly until we
reached the eggs. I have long since learnt that it is always wise to
check the egg box for cracked eggs. Anyway, the eggs I wanted were on
the lower self so I went down on to my knees so as to reach them and
ended up squatting on the floor. Whilst going through the various boxes
trying to find a full box without any being undamaged I noticed that
someone was behind me and as they were clad in similar jeans to Ed,
quite naturally thought ah ha!, another chance to check the out the
goods!. so I .... only got as far as putting my hand around his leg and
tickling him behind the knee. I did not go any further than that, when
I realised it wasn't Ed. No. He stood by
the bread stand trying hard not to laugh. It was on noticing this that
I looked up to find
Father Tomas. He was kind of frozen to the spot, his lower jaw dropped
open, his mouth in the shape of not being too sure weather to yell for
help or to ask for eternal forgiveness!. In the end he let out a small
scream. I instantly dropped my hand and apologised wishing that the
base of the stand had been higher so that I could crawl under it. By
the time I had managed to get to my feet, thanking God and everything
else in the world that I hadn't gone further. Father Tom, a man in his
late sixties had turned very pale, so I couldn't really run away
either, especially as we'd now being joined by a member of Safeway's
staff, who had
heard the slight commotion.

Ed who had by this time gather his wits about him long enough to stop
laughing took over
and guided the poor man away and about his shopping talking about his
garden, which was
the reason why he'd been waring jeans and not his normal grey flannel
trousers. Kaz had
disappeared and only came back to find me, her face bright red with
both embarrassment and anger, when I was trying not to fall into one of
the freezers in an effort to reach a pizza.

Queuing at the checkout she kept steering me around as if I was a
naughty child and the man
who had followed me all round the store, kept winking at me for some
unknown reason so I
gave him one of my dark looks which only seemed to make him grin even
the more.

During Kaz's telling off in the car it was pointed out that the
security guard had also,
unbeknown to me, followed us around and that I had been lucky not have
been banned from the shop let alone being arrested for sexual
harassment even though it had been an innocent mistake!.

Now when ever I enter Safeway's I get odd looks from certain staff, the
security guard I've noticed always winks at me and gives me a huge grin
whilst Father Tomas avoids me and crosses over the road when every he
sees me coming but then again so do I.

Anyway the point of my story - don't feel the goods too readily when
shopping, as you might
just get hold of the wrong thing but more importantly look at what your
feeling before you touch!.