Over the Not So Green Grass Hill!!!!

I long for change and exciting times again,
When I felt my heart pound faster than
A drum beat. To have that first encounter
And feel my knees bend with trepidation And excitement.

To have a conversation of interest
And equal balance, engage in Laughter,
Which has felt locked away for decades,
My stomach has ached so much for fun.
To then lean eagerly towards The one you ooze for And gaze in to their eyes,and
Feel the desideratum energy.

Could I have been so blinded by
My own selfishness wants and hungry
Appetite,that I could not see or even care,
All the damage This, I would cause.
Obviously not,because if I had,
This disillusioned Fool,
Would not of drenched my family,my
Friends through a multitude of heartache,
Shame and oh so much darkened pain.

I can't deny the days of instant pleasure
And a self absorbed world I planted for myself,
Was not a Whipped cream layered with marshmallows
Floating in a bed of hot chocolate Place to be.Yet When I had finished with this fantastic world I craved for,it was just like any other,but not has memorable as my first true perfect one!! which at times will have marshmallows fall off the top,But I simply Should recall the feeling which I had When I experienced my first taste,which was my heaven!!!