When I ordered a suckling pig, it turned out to be Porky Pig's son.
I learned that when Porky got mad, he was meaner than Atilla the Hun.
Porky sat me on fire after he doused me with gasoline.
I knew that he stuttered but I didn't know he was mean.
My entire body is covered with burns, even my pubic hairs got singed.
I ate Porky's only son and the bastard decided to fry me to get revenge.
I became extra crispy because I ate Porky's son.
You could've stuck a fork in me because I was done.
But I got revenge one day while Porky was eating at his trough.
I aimed my sawed off shotgun at him and I blew his head off.
If he was still alive, Porky's death would've devastated Mel Blanc.
I dined on Porky's body and now his remains are in my septic tank.