You Won't Have Relations In My House

You're only fifteen years old, you will not have sexual relations under my roof.
You think you can do what you want but you can't and I'll give you the proof.
If you have relations with your boyfriend in my house, I'll send him to jail.
You won't even be able to kiss your boyfriend when he's locked in a cell.
You say that because this is the twenty-first century, you demand sexual privacy.
I'll ground you for a month if you don't shut up, you don't want to mess with me.
If you have relations with him under my roof, I'll call the cops.
If I catch the two of you having relations in my house, it's something I'll stop.

(This is a fictional poem but if I had a teenage daughter or son, it would be fact.)