Arrival

So. You made it to University, College or whatever. Further
education is probably an experience unlike any other that you have ever
had. Don't panic, it'll all sort itself out.

If you haven't got there yet - stop. Think. The important thing here is
planning your short-term survival. Only pack enough stuff to last you a
week. Do not pack all your clothes, your hi-fi, coffee maker,
inflatable Jacuzzi, three-ton teddy bear collection, etcetera. However,
do take slightly more cash than you would normally blow in a week
(unless your lifestyle causes you to pepper your normal conversation
with such words as 'Beluga', 'De Beers' and 'AmEx Gold Card').

The point here is that when you arrive with all your belongings neatly
packed in a 48ft truck you may find that the room where you will be
spending your next year may only be large enough to comfortably
accommodate an emaciated hamster. Find your room, work out what it will
hold and then have such bits and pieces as you will need shipped up
during the week.

The first order of business should be to find the essentials. Find out
where the toilets are, where the showers are, where you eat and where
the phone is. Incidentally, if it appears that the toilet and shower
are adjoining your room, there is a phone by the bed and people bring
you food if you ring them up and ask them to. Leave immediately and
quietly, using the back door. You have checked into an hotel by
mistake.