To my Sweet Jelly Bean

It is hot outside a mid summer day I am alone except for my thoughts of you my little jelly bean, thoughts I cherish with all that I am. I have waited my whole lifetime to see your face your smile and watch you grow. That special time came and went in the blink of and eye, but that day you filled my heart with love like never before, you were unaware of the feelings I had when I first saw you, helpless and innocent in a new world full of life. The years have come and gone too few for me. My heart is broken as if it were a fine china vase falling against a tile floor the pieces seeming like they will never fit together again. Do know that I cannot stop thinking of you and how I last saw you on that very sad day for me. I felt like life itself was taken from me, drained, hurt, tears in my eyes none of which you were aware of. You only had that sweet innocent little smile as you touched my face with both of your hands so gently and said mommy daddy is crying, it sent a shock to my soul. The time I had with you was precious to me, I will never forget. To watch you crawl, stand, walk, run and talk all of these are memories that I will always keep till I am no more. I see you face soft kind and happy like an innocent child should be. Your eyes the deepest of blue your tiny fragile body growing with each new day, these I will never let go. I am sorry I will miss many things as you grow but, do know I am here for your comfort your sorrow your happiness. I will never turn a cold shoulder to you my baby girl. You are my life, long after I am gone. For the rest of my time here in this place I will always wish I had done things differently, fix things I could not change. The hurt inside me you will never feel from me. I will wait in earnest until we have our time together each one a new and wondrous memory to never forget. Daddy will always love and miss you. With each tear that you shed I will cry many more for you. I will hurt for you when you fall, I will feel sorrow with you, I will share in your happiness. I cannot explain the emptiness I now harbor inside of me. Every time I pick you up it will hurt. To let you go each time will bring sadness to me but, that I must do. This is not of my choosing but some things cannot be controlled. I have placed you on a star high in the sky this I look at each night and for the rest of your life you will also look up and know that you are daddies little star so bright. Malynda, my daughter I will love you always.
Daddy.