Pence a Game

How are you going mate?" Dick heard the muffled voice. He opened his
eyes and saw a blurred figure standing a few feet away. Bright sunlight
coming through a window behind him cast strange shadows on the opposite
wall. As his senses cleared Dick found that he was in bed. There was a
slight cramping sensation about his middle, and then he realised that
he was lying on a hospital bed. A fellow-patient was addressing him.
"Welcome back to the land of the living," said the man at the foot of
the bed, "they do say that you were in a right state when you were
brought in."

Gradually Dick's recollection began to return. He remembered sitting on
an easy chair reading the local paper, when suddenly there was that
awful stabbing pain, which seemed to fill the middle of his body. It
was centred in his right abdomen and was so intense that he was forced
to double up. He called "Jane! Jane!" but no-one answered. He then
realised that he was alone in the house, for his wife had gone to visit
her mother. He made an effort and crawled to the front door. Painfully
he opened it and yelled as loudly as the pain permitted. A passing
neighbour promised to call an ambulance. Dick vaguely recalled the
bumpy ride with the siren blaring. The paramedic said "Looks as though
you've got a ruptured appendix. A few minutes more and you could have
been a gonner!" He then passed out.

A nurse appeared on the scene. "Nice to see you awake," she smiled,
"the surgeon caught you just in time, and now it's time for your
antibiotic." She pulled back the covers and gently began to roll him on
his side. Dick felt obliged to help her, but the effort caused some
pain. The nurse reassured him. "Don't worry, I can cope." He felt the
cold swab on his buttock, then the sharp sensation of a needle. "That
should keep you going for the rest of the evening." whispered the
nurse.
After breakfast next day Dick felt a complete return of his composure.
The pain had mostly gone, and the doctor had suggested that he would be
better up and about. He had
breakfast, then sat reading on his bed.

Sid, the patient who had welcomed him back, advised about the protocol
of life on the ward. "One thing you have to be careful about is that
bloke over there, Gerry. He's a cocky blighter, always trying to catch
people out. Be very careful if he tries to get you into a game, he is a
very bad loser."

Sure enough, some time during the afternoon, up came Gerry. "Play
backgammon?" he asked.

"A bit." replied Dick.

"How about a few games?" asked Gerry. Dick agreed, Gerry fetched his
board and they set up the pieces. "Use the doubling cube?" he asked
Gerry.

"If that means gambling," ventured Dick, "it's not for me!"

"Come on," insisted Gerry, "just 10p a game." They played the first
game, during which Gerry doubled. Dick was not impressed, for Gerry did
not seem able to judge who was most likely to win, so he accepted the
double, and on his next turn, redoubled. Gerry, against the odds,
doubled again. Dick left the cube alone and eventually won the game.
With three doubles, Gerry had to pay him 80p.

They played several more games, Dick winning a net ?5. He had come
across reckless players before, but Gerry was a classic case of one who
on a losing streak doubled and redoubled his stake in a frantic effort
to break even. Sid was right, and Dick could see trouble coming. Said
Dick, "Look here Gerry, it's no use playing on. You are on a losing
roll and had better pack up. If you go on like this you could lose a
packet." He was being polite for by now he realised that not only was
Gerry a bad loser, but a poor player as well. Gerry was fuming.

"Afraid of losing?" he sneered. "I'm going to win, I can feel it. Tell
you what, let's play for 20p a game.

Dick felt that only by accepting this offer could he show Gerry he
would inevitably lose. They played on for a bit and Gerry lost a
further ?15. "That's it!" snapped Dick. "I don't want to take any more
from you. In fact, I am going to return my winnings to you."

Gerry was incensed. "I'm not accepting charity from you or anyone
else!" he yelled, quite oblivious of other patients watching the play.
"No," he continued, "let's toss for the winnings, double or quits!"
Dick saw there was no point in refusing so he accepted the toss for
twice ?20. He won. Gerry became very agitated. "Best of three!" he
yelled, "Let's make it best of three tosses for the money!" This did
him no good at all and Dick retained his winnings.

At this point Dick decided he would have to insist on a return of the
money. Gerry was adamant, demanding more games. "Let's compromise,"
suggested Dick, Take ?10 and let it go at that." Seeing the amused
faces around him, Gerry at last saw he had no alternative and accepted
the money. Dick returned to his bed, sat down and resumed his
reading.

Up came Sid. "Look here," said Sid, grinning broadly, "I had a side bet
with the others that you would end up forcing that twit to accept all
or part of your winnings. I won a hundred quid thanks to you, so here's
fifty!"

? R. J. Isaacs, 2001