Father Lucifer

Father Lucifer
To my understandment....
You say you understand. You say you know. In some ways I believe this,
some ways I don't. I'm sure you have felt as I feel now, but some of us
feel it more. I'm sure you've lost what I have lost, but sometimes that
thing means more to others. As for now, you seem care not. You have
been apathetic &; cruel. You have taken what is most dear to me....
You have taken what keeps me alive, what give me the illusion of
Happiness...
What I feel....
Actually, I can barely feel at all, I have been stripped of my soul.
But the remaining nerves have driven me to anger &; depression. Non
of which crying has seemed to lessen. I must ask, Dear Lucifer, how you
would like it if I were to take away the thing most dear to you? And,
best of all, to not even give a damn. Would that affect you (I wasn't
sure you could go to the point of sorrow)? If you have no feeling to
this, you are not human. If you just a slight twinge of pain, you are
feeling one-millionth of what I feel. But alas, you do not care.... One
more step in becoming human, Dear Lucifer.
What I know....
I know Love isn't real, nor Happiness or Importance. But that is why we
live! We need that illusion of Love &; Happiness &; Importance.
It makes Life- pain-worth while. Though now, you have ruined my vision.
I know now that non of it is real. I know we are only born for the
Universe to laugh at our pathetic lives, &; to push us to our limit
of pain, till we kill ourselves.... Only the lucky, the illusioned
survive....
What I had....
I had Happiness, even after I Realized. Someone made me Happy, made me
feel Important. His words sunk in me &; became my own blood. He was
Sublime.... I was in Nirvana.... But he was taken. How could it be
possible, how could Life do this, how could you do this?.... And act as
though it was nothing. That is part of the worst of it, how you care
not. You even find me mad for loving someone so much.... Maybe I
was.... I am now.
My Realization....
Nothing is Important. Nothing. So why is it, as you told me, so
"Important" that I never Love. What's so damn important!? I know Love
will trap me in the end, I know it will bring me sorrow. But not
letting me try... also a trap. Let me free. Let me die. You took
everything away from me, why do let me keep my useless Life?
I hate you Lucifer. You made me Realize. You made me Smart. You killed
me.... Let me do my part....
Deceased,
Ryane.