Hello, goodbye.

By sarahprowls

Mon, 25 Feb 2008
  • 882 reads
2 comments
 

A talkative feline
I'm sorry the car came so carelessly down
this
street
Perhaps a 'morning after the night before' driving
An impact too severe to mend
Bringing you more speedily to your fate.
Sooner than what could have been
A longer, happier, tortoiseshell life
Mousing with the renegade friend
At least we found you before the rain
And your family came to see you
At the vet before your end

And now I know your name. Suki. A.D. 24/02/08

Certificate U
On the plot
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by tcook on
'Sooner than what could have been' feels clumsy in what otherwise is a well constructed poem.

Submitted by sarahprowls on
Fair play - it is a clumsy line. I looked at it all over once, crying my eyes out, i have to admit - it was a purge immediately after the event, and I didn't mind a lumpy line - too many words. Should've got the potato peeler on it. Maybe I will when I feel removed by time. Maybe i won't. Thanks for the constructive anyhow. You look like a busy beaver.