Echoes and hostages

Echoes of a former being
Permeate the gulf
Neither drawing nor repelling
But a forcefield all the same.
An endless cycle of being
Exhausted from this part
That replays and repeats

And so it starts again
Older, wiser, still unprepared
Transported straight back
To watch that litte girl
Who tortures me with her eyes
Crucifies me on her smile
Is it her killing me,
Or have I murdered her?

Shall I, can I break the rules
To the game she played so well?
She thinks I hold all the answers
I told her it was under control
But is it her or me I want
To save, to exorcise, to demonise?

Or is it just time
As the seconds drag
and the hours tumble
Into a past
I cannot retrieve.