Haemoglobin

The screaming blue eyed monster sped through the city streets
shrieking and blinking. Wailing round corners at breakneck speed
spraying buildings and passers by alike as it cut through the heavenly
deluge. Though there was a storm brewing both outside and inside the
cramped ambulance. The paramedic was fumbling to find a misplaced
anaesthetic as the pale wraith of a girl convulsed on the gurney beside
him.
This had all started as a routine shift. There'd been the usual spread
of chaos and mayhem, after all this job was no picnic but there'd been
nothing out of the ordinary. Then after midnight things had quietened
down a little which gave the pair a welcome break. They headed back to
the hospital to refresh their supplies, a blood bag or two, some gauze
and a few syringes. You can never be too careful, get caught short in
this line of work and you could cost someone their life. Then when
they'd been back out for about twenty minutes all hell had broken
loose&;#8230;
It must have been about twelve thirty when the call had come
through.
"This is central, all available units respond, repeat this is central
to all available units. We have a major trauma on west forty second
street in the alley behind Curly's diner".
"Central this is unit twenty four, we're in the neighbourhood, we'll
take it".
"Confirmed twenty four, subject is female in early twenties. Major
bruising and stab wounds to the neck and extreme blood loss. Police on
site".
"Thankyou central, en route".
By now the streets were already coated with the metallic sheen of
pouring rain. The unrelenting drumbeat of the downpour on the ambulance
roof was becoming quite hypnotic. Arriving on site, the pair were
mesmerised by the horrific sight that lay before them. The alley was
veiled in a layer of mist from the rain and the storm drains belching
out their acrid vapour. Waterfalls cascaded from broken drainpipes
forming stereoscopic puddles in the oily detritus on the ground. All
together the whole scene looked like it had been lifted from some
fairytale urban jungle nightmare. Worse still, in the centre if this
hellish swamp lay the girl. The overweight and underpaid officer on the
scene approached.
"We got a Jane Doe with a faint pulse. We've tried to keep her as warm
as possible but she doesn't look so good. Whatever you guys do you
better do it now".
"OK give us some room here, we need to get her on board as soon as
possible", the medic began barking orders and just as he was getting
too big for his boots he leant down to inspect the girl, "holy
shit!"
A heavy red stain down one side scarred the huddled shivering blanket
before him. From one end of this quivering mass protruded the girl's
face. Her pallid complexion was strengthened more by the dark concrete
all around. She was so pale her skin seemed luminescent in the
blackness.
"OK what we got?" yelled the second medic still waiting in the
ambulance, gathering the necessary equipment.
"We've got to move her but let me check the wound first", he leaned in
closer to the girl's ear, "can you hear me? Open your eyes if you can
hear me". Nothing.
He peeled back the blanket to get a better look at the wound. If at
all possible her skin grew whiter still on her neck. Then the light
gave way to two small dark holes in the girl's neck. A pair of beady
little eyes that were profusely crying tears of blood. So much blood.
It was only now that he noticed the girl was lying framed in yet
another puddle but this one was red, dark and rich.
The medic was yanked back to the present by his colleague's
shouting.
"Godammit strap her down!" yelled the irate driver, "strap her down or
she'll be dead before we get there!"
"I can't find the morphine, I've got to get her sedated so she'll hold
still then I can strap her down!"
"Whatever, just do it fast!"
By now the girl had started to calm down if only from sheer exhaustion
and loss of blood. The crimson gurney began to drip onto the rumbling
floor of the vehicle. It was amazing how much blood she'd lost from
only two insignificant punctures in her neck. It was as if an oil baron
had struck pay dirt on her Medulla Oblongata. It squirted over and over
like a burst water main causing her to launch into another fit. This
was mercifully interrupted by her suddenly snapping bolt upright and
screaming, "the teeth, the teeth!"
"What the hell's going on back there?"
"I have no idea but I'm starting to think I need a shot too."
"Calm down we're nearly there. Just make sure she's stable."
"There's too much bleeding! She must be a haemophiliac or something,
we're going to lose her."
"Don't we have any more back there?"
"What do I look like, a blood bank? This is a frigging ambulance!
Besides I already put in two units and it's pumped straight out
again."
Their heated debate was brought to an abrupt halt by the high pitched
whistle of the electrocardiograph. They were losing her indeed and
fast. She now lay perfectly still and for the time being at least the
blood had slowed to a trickle.
"She's in fibrillation. I'm going to shock her, charging to two
hundred."
Outside the storm raged on and thunder rolling overhead seemed to be
building. The elements growled like some great beast waiting to
pounce.
"Clear."
The paddles were pressed firmly to the girl's chest and at the push of
a button let out an almighty bang that was echoed by a flash of
lightning outside. Still the machine whistled it's mechanised death
rattle. The paramedic cranked the current up another notch and rubbed
the paddles together furiously. The clouds purred in anticipation of
another bolt of lightning.
"Clear!"
Again the girl was jerked off the bed by the current. She collapsed
spastically back to the gurney still showing no signs of life.
"I'm telling you she's gone"
"One more time, I'm cranking it right up, clear!"
The sky was whipped by more white-hot shards of lightning and the purr
turned to a roar as the cacophony outside built to an ear piercing
crescendo. Then all was silent as one last time the girl's invisible
strings were pulled taught and she was wrenched back into life. With
one final clap of thunder the beep beep of the small machine resumed,
much to the relief of the now shaken paramedic.
Doors slammed and burst open again as the gurney was moved from the
back of the ambulance into the emergency room. The waning storm outside
was drowned out by the clamour of activity within. Ghostly white-coated
blurs were dashing from room to room. People were sat in chairs,
waiting by desks or laid out on stretchers in the passageways and side
rooms. Voices could be heard, some talking whilst others screamed.
Phones rang, machines beeped and clicked and doors banged open and shut
from all around. All this kaleidoscoped into a harsh assault on the
senses. Everything was chaos and order was just a pipedream.
The girl and the small entourage of doctors she'd acquired were
bundled into a spare cubicle. Doctors and nurses moved fluidly in the
cramped environment laying the girl out and removing her bloodied
clothes in a matter of seconds. She lay there positively catatonic as a
myriad of electronic tentacles were stuck to various points on her
chest and hands to monitor heart rate, blood pressure and other vital
statistics. Her pupils remained fixed like two great inkblots as lights
were thrust in her face and the physician tried in vain to get her to
speak.
"Can you hear me? Blink if you can hear me", still she lay unmoving,
"OK, let's get her as comfortable as possible and do something about
stitching up those holes. Call upstairs and have them send down three
units of blood and I'll check back later."
Then as quickly as they'd all arrived the staff vanished back into the
hallway to be once more consumed by the current and swirl of activity
leaving the girl to rest. The drugs would keep her under for at least a
couple more hours. The police could wait to make their enquiries and
the bleeding had been stopped. But that still left the question of who
she was and what had she been doing down that alley in such a terrible
storm?
These were the thoughts that roamed through her head, as she lay now
unaware of all that had happened. In her mind the past few hours had
been spent in clouded ignorant bliss though she was at a loss to
explain that too. The last thing that she remembered had been walking
down the street on her way to do some late night shopping. She'd just
headed down to the subway and that was when the stranger had
appeared.
She always found the subway rather unsettling; there were terrible
stories in the papers almost daily. They'd be about, "young couples" or
"a woman walking alone at night" and right now she was that woman.
Having thought it through she was convinced there'd been nobody on the
platform when she had entered the station. Then she'd heard the
familiar hum of tracks vibrating and a train had been spat from the
long dark tunnel. The place reverberated to the clanking of metal and
screeching that made those hairs on the back of your neck perk up. The
doors hissed open like a pair of coiled cobras, daring her to step on
board before they snapped shut. But this wasn't the right train and
there were no passengers disembarking, leaving her alone on the
platform. So where had the stranger emerged from? Surely if he'd been
behind her there would have been the echo of his footsteps on concrete
as cold as tombstones.
The first thing that had caught her attention was the oily black
shadow sliding across the floor. It looked so soft and fluid, as if
whoever was approaching were made of mercury. Then she'd seen the
shadow's owner and been captivated instantly by his beauty.
Now "beautiful" may seem like a bizarre word for a man but there was
really no other way to describe him. His features weren't chiselled in
the usual manly way but more softly moulded. It gave his whole face a
rather delicate and graceful look like some great ice sculpture. If
struck too hard surely such a flawless fa?ade would crumble. He
continued to close on her, positively gliding across the floor. His
clothes seemed just as liquid as the rest of him, billowing softly
about him in the cool breeze from the tunnel. Dressed in black from
head to toe which under the harsh fluorescent lights made his skin seem
almost iridescent, catching pools of light on his high brow and flat
cheekbones. Now they stood face to face, still neither of them uttered
a word. She daren't for fear of breaking this silent rather mystical
moment. Finally she noticed the eyes, such eyes! Like two gem encrusted
stones placed in the sockets, they seemed to change colour constantly
as he gently turned his head to look her up and down. She was
transfixed. Afraid even to breathe before he parted his lips. The wait
wasn't long.
"Waiting for a train?" his voice sounded like thick creamy
coffee.
"Train? Oh yes a train, yes I'm waiting for a train that's right,
that's what I'm waiting for." She found herself quite flustered and
lost for words. Such casual conversation from someone who looked
so&;#8230;well not casual.
"Where are you headed?"
"Oh um nowhere really, just going to do some late shopping. I don't
usually like to come out this late but it was either that or start an
all Twinkie diet. You?"
"I was actually looking for a payphone but I'm not having much luck.
Some joker smashed the mouthpiece."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Well you know there is a phone back at my
apartment. It's only a couple of minutes walk from here. What do you
say?" This was unbelievable, she'd only just met this weirdo but now
she was inviting him back to her place, get a grip girl.
"That's very generous of you, are you sure you don't mind?"
"Well it doesn't look like my train's gonna' get here any time soon
and I'd hate to think I came all the way down here for nothing. Who do
you need to call anyway? That is if you don't mind me asking?"
"Not at all, it's a business thing actually. I've got a big meeting on
Monday and need to get a report from a colleague of mine. Pretty dull
really."
"Oh so you're a businessman. Well let's go give this friend of yours a
call then."
"You're very kind, thankyou."
The conversation continued as they made their way out and along the
street. This was uncanny, a complete stranger was now being taken back
to her apartment. Granted he was only going to use the phone but still
it was very out of character. Then again it had been a while, maybe
she'd ask if he'd like to stay for a drink. But did she have anything
in the larder except Twinkies? There must be a bottle of wine knocking
around somewhere. They continued to walk.
"So where is it that you live?" queried the stranger.
"It's the set of new apartments overlooking the park, some fancy name
that I forget. But they're very nice and the rent's an absolute steal.
Do you know the place?"
"As a matter of fact I do, I pass them on my way to work. In that case
I know a short cut we can take. It's just down this alley. Trust
me!"
"Hmmm I don't know, I only just met you and now you wanna' take me
down a dark alley. Sounds a little creepy to me."
"I promise it's the truth, this cuts right through to just opposite
the park. Besides it looks like it's going to rain so unless you want
hair like rats tails, come on take a chance. Promise I won't try
anything funny."
"Well&;#8230;alright."
Secretly she was hoping he would try something, she just wasn't sure
what. A public place had always been a secret fantasy of hers. Alright
so a dimly lit alley wasn't exactly public but there would still be a
certain thrill to it. That constant danger of getting caught that sent
the adrenaline streaming through your veins. In her mind she was
silently daring him to try anything, this enigmatic stranger was
becoming quite irresistible. She'd always had a tender spot for the
quiet, elusive type. That element of mystery could be very seductive.
Her heart quickened along with her pace, you know what they say about
being careful what you wish for.
"This is far enough", barked the stranger rather abruptly.
"Sorry?"
"I said this is far enough".
"Hey I thought I told you, no funny business, remember?"
"I don't think you really mean that do you? Besides who said this was
funny. I'm deadly serious."
He was starting to lose his charm somewhat but she decided to cut him
a little slack and play along for now. Pouting like a schoolgirl she
piped up and said,
"OK, so now you've got me here what do you plan to do to me Mr. Big
Man? Please be gentle."
"I promise you won't feel a thing."
Just as she was thinking that she'd like to feel something the
stranger vanished as quickly as he had appeared. This was turning out
to be a very surreal evening, but it beat trudging around the market
shopping for groceries.
"Cat and mouse eh? That's one I haven't tried before."
A loud crash behind her spun the girl like a top. What was it? A trash
can had been knocked over spilling its contents on the damp floor. The
stench of rotting fruit and soggy paper soaked the air but still the
stranger remained unseen. Wait! A shadow darted from behind a dumpster
and evaporated again like a breath of smoke.
"Alright now this isn't funny anymore."
She jumped as another noise made her turn again. The rattle of a fire
escape sliding down like a broken metallic rib cage. She fired a glance
upwards to the walkway but too slow again. Something brushed by her
side like a whisper of autumn leaves. Even the first drop of rain on
her furrowed brow caused her to start.
"OK creep, game's over, you can get your sick kicks from some other
girl. Don't try following me home either or I'll call the cops right
after I Mace your sorry ass!"
She made to leave and found herself staring into hell itself. The
stranger's gaping maw before her yawned and two ice picks emerged from
the blackness. He hissed and the maddened glint in his eye turned to a
fiery glow. She was reaching for the pepper spray before she'd even
realised the shock had made her drop her purse. She began to sob but
her tears were lost in the gathering rains. Washed away like so much
waste. She was transfixed, unable to move. Those teeth, she couldn't
pull her gaze away from them. They must have been at least two inches
long and looked sharpened to a knifepoint.
"Feel free to run, I do enjoy fast food", and then he leapt.
There was no movement, it was simply a case of him being nearby one
minute and then upon her the next. There was nothing in between, she
was like a styrofoam cup held in a vice. He clasped her shoulders and
looked as if those eyes of his were on the brink of bursting into
flames they glowed so brightly. Leaning into her neck and pressing his
teeth onto her soft, pliant flesh and it was all too soft. Puncturing
the skin was like putting a pin through a wet paper bag, but the pain
was no where near as merciful. It felt like her neck was being pierced
with a rusty needle and nothing to numb it.
Her struggling was reduced to nothing more than momentary shudders. It
was all she could muster to lift her arm in an attempt to strike him,
glancing at her hand she saw the bright blue and green of her veins.
They stood erect from her skin like a warped subway map; he was taking
her blood. As the thought entered her mind so did another alien
sensation. It was like a great tidal vacuum. Wave after wave coursed
through her and with each the stranger would jerk and emit a grunt
getting louder each time. Lava burned through her system but it was
growing cooler with each swell.
As her knees were about to give way he disengaged and threw his head
back, arching his neck. Miraculously there was not a drop of blood on
him but she could feel it on her, smearing and spreading down her
clothes then clouding the puddles that had formed all around just as
her own vision clouded. After a moment he blinked once or twice and
returned his gaze to the girl, the glow in his eyes had subsided to
embers by now. It was as if he'd regained control after some frenzied
seizure but his face remained in that horrific contortion. She snapped
her eyes shut as he came in again but this time he whispered in her
ear,
"The rest is not for your eyes", and then the world went out.
At that the girl awoke with a scream as sunlight exploded into her
room through the blind being drawn by the now startled nurse.
"Jesus-H-Christ! Are you tryin' to scare the crap outta' me girlie?
Any more surprises like that and I'll have a coronary before I'm
thirty. Well at least you're awake, how ya' feeling hun'?"
"The rain&;#8230;the alley&;#8230;those teeth", her mind was a
complete mess unaided by the residual drugs which made her head feel
heavy as an anvil, "what happened to the storm?"
"Jeez they must have really shot you full of somethin'. You don't
remember nothin' do ya'? Well it's probably best that way, don't worry.
The storm's over now, you're safe. Can you tell me your name
honey?"
"Kirsten, Kirsten Merrick. How long have I been here?"
"Well Kirsten you've been here the better part of a day. When they
brought you in last night we didn't think you'd make it but the docs
plugged those holes in your neck up real good. Take a while before the
stitches can come out but you should be fine. We'll be keeping you in
for a day or two just to make sure everything's all right".
Now the nurse mentioned it the girl became aware of a terrible itch on
her neck. Touching it she felt a great lump of gauze on her throat. She
tried to rub and scratch it but there was too much padding to make any
difference.
"I'd try not to do that dearie. You'll only aggravate the wound. Try
not to think about the itch. Focus on something else, I know it's hard
but it's for your own good."
"Thanks, I'll do my best", she said as "scratch scratch scratch"
whispered through her mind over and over.
"Well I'll leave you to get some rest, best thing for you right now.
The doctor'll come check you out in a little while but meantime if you
need anything just hit the buzzer by your bed there. 'Kay?"
"Okay. Thank you very much."
"Nothing to it hun', all part of the job", and with that the jovial
nurse returned to the throng of the hallway.
Kirsten hadn't spent much time in hospitals but the little she had
wasn't a happy experience. She'd suffered the usual childhood nightmare
of having her tonsils removed when she was only ten and spent three
days by her father's bedside watching him pass away painfully slowly in
the same hospital only four brief years ago. So to be back in one now
made her anxious to say the least. For a place that was supposed to
promote healing and wellbeing they always looked so cold and
harsh.
Then there was a gentle tapping on the door and another white coat
stepped in,
"Good afternoon ma'am, my name is Dr. Rice. I'm the physician who
treated you last night, do you remember anything yet?" striding over to
the bed.
The man looked rather nervous for a doctor. It couldn't be due to lack
of experience, the lines on his face made him look older than the
hospital and the bright lighting bounced off his scalp through thinning
hair. A ski-slope of a nose completed the portrait making his
thick-rimmed glasses slide off at regular intervals only to be replaced
by a diligently prodding digit.
"Nothing Dr. Sorry, I'm Kirsten by the way."
"Well we know your name now at least, that's something. We're going to
try and have you out of here as soon as possible but first there's
something we need to discuss. After we got your neck cleaned up last
night we found something else."
"That's not possible, apart from my neck I feel fine."
The doctor's eyes darted around as if he weren't sure what to say
next. Then he blurted in a haphazard manner,
"Let's just take a look at that, if you'd just turn your head for me",
his hands shook as he removed the dressing. Then,
"Wha&;#8230;but that's&;#8230;nurse!" a prod of the
glasses.
"What is it? What's wrong?" the girl began having visions of a great
hole in her neck or some other horrific catastrophe. The nurse from a
few moments ago came bursting in,
"What is it doctor?"
"Are you sure this is the lady who we brought in last night with the
neck injury? Has there been another mix up with the patient's
charts?"
"No, what's the matter?"
"Yes what is it?" echoed Kirsten.
"It's um&;#8230;it's your neck ma'am. The wound has completely
disappeared! Like it never happened, no scars or bruising.
Just&;#8230;nothing!" prod, slide and prod again.
"Don't be ridiculous", scolded the approaching nurse, "that's
impossi&;#8230;well I'll be damned. He's right dearie, you're good
as new!"
"Well what does it mean?" she was getting very nervous now and more
than a little scared.
"I must say I don't rightly know ma'am. I've never seen anything like
this. We'll have to do some more tests, nurse if you'd come with me
please. Excuse us ma'am."
"Doctor wait! You said you had something to talk to me about?"
Again the eyes searched for something to anchor to and this time
settled for the floor,
"Um&;#8230;we should make sure you're alright first. The nurse will
return to tend to you in a few moments" a last prod of the mischievous
glasses and they left.
Left once again to her own devices Kirsten found her gaze drawn to the
dappled rays of sunlight leaking through the window. Dusk was settling
over the city in a darkening veil. Soon sleep embraced her though this
was due more to the drugs than exhaustion, she slept as the nurse
returned to draw a blood sample and give her another shot to suppress
the pain of the "other" wound.
She began to dream and thought she had awoken when she found herself
in the small hospital room. Assuming she'd been sleepwalking, which had
been known in the past, the girl returned to her bed. Drawing back the
duvet she realised she was still asleep and this was in fact no dream
but the very darkest of nightmares.
Beneath the duvet lay a man or at least the remnants of one and she
immediately recognised him,
"Father", a whisper was forced from her throat to identify the
abomination that lay before her. The figure was ghostly pale, the
colour of rotting eggs. His physique was that of a crumpled paper mache
sculpture, limbs all withered and warped making his bones stand in
relief from the tissue of skin. He wore a hospital gown, tattered, torn
and smattered with flecks of dried blood. What was this? Her father had
passed peacefully in his sleep at the end. He never suffered anything
to compare to this. A mask of death crowned the puppetry of broken
flesh. A few whispers of hair clung to a mottled scalp and eye sockets
sunk into the face encrusted with yellow eyelids that looked as if
they'd never been opened. Lips, two slashes of deep purple, the colour
of rigamortis pasted onto the fa?ade. Then, so slow as to be almost
imperceptible they drew back to reveal,
"No! Those teeth! No daddy no!" she reeled and hammered against the
figure until she realised that figure was in fact the nurse.
"Alright dearie one more outburst like that and I'll have ta' put ya'
in restraints. Do I make myself clear?"
"Believe me I don't enjoy it!" defended the girl.
"Yeah well that makes two of us. Anyway, the doctor ran a buncha'
tests and quite frankly we don't know what the hell happened to your
neck, although he'd make it sound a lot more official".
She couldn't help a small giggle at the nurse's frank attitude, "well
all I know is there were two holes there before and now there aren't
which is great. Besides which that awful itch is gone too so it's all
good, right?"
"Don't ask me dearie I just work here but yes it seems you're in the
clear."
"So I can go home?"
"We'll be releasing you in a few hours, there's just some paperwork to
take care of first and you know the cops are still waiting to see
you."
"Yeah them and a load of reporters and lord knows who else, think I'm
safer in here."
"Well too bad because we need the room."
After completing the aforementioned "paperwork" which turned out to be
a rather lengthy document in triplicate she was discharged. The doctor
had prescribed a few painkillers just in case and advised plenty of bed
rest and fluids, not that there seemed to be anything else wrong with
her but a doctor could never go wrong with bed rest and fluids. Amongst
all of the commotion she'd forgotten to ask him again about what else
they had found apart from her now absent neck wound. The shaken Dr.
Rice was not going to volunteer the information either. It may have
been a direct breach of hospital policy to withhold information from a
patient but this was an exceptional case. Everything about young Miss
Merrick was exceptional, not just her neck. There was more, much
more&;#8230;
The light was already fading, as if someone had laid a mosquito net
over the entire city, by the time she turned the key in the lock to the
place she called home. The whole place had a rather stale smell to it
like bundles of very dry paper. She'd only been at the hospital for a
few days thanks to her miraculous "healing" but still everything looked
dull and dusty. Perhaps she was still a little groggy from all the
shots?
There was a surprisingly large pile of unopened mail on the floor.
Typical, she'd got taken to hospital the very same day all her bills
were due. That would mean an angry set of second notices and if she was
especially lucky a nice lecture from the landlady. Then there was all
of the usual junk mail, everything from "congratulations! You've won
$10,000" to brochures from fancy health clubs that she never remembered
giving her address to. There was even a letter from her mother asking
how she was finding life in the "big bad city"; well lately it
certainly hadn't been too great. All of this would have to wait till
she'd got her head together, right now all she could think of was a
steaming bath and sleeping for days. She slung her jacket and keys on
the couch and headed for the bathroom only to be stopped by the
frantically winking red-eye of her answer machine. Great! Lots of
sympathy that she really didn't feel like listening to but that damned
light would drive her crazy otherwise.
She gingerly pushed the play button and the machine made its usual
chipmunk squeal before playing back:
"Hi, it's me! Remember me? Your boss? The guy who pays you? Where the
hell are you? You know you're meant to call in beforehand if you don't
think you'll be in the office. Now I have to get some god damned
useless temp at the last minute! You just better have a damn good
reason like being dead or dying! Call me!"
Funnily enough that hadn't been too far from the truth. Inconsiderate
son of a bitch. Well he'd get a real shock when she told him just what
had happened. After a brief pause the next message played,
"It's me again, what the fuck is going on? Look if you're having some
sort of problem then at least let me know. Otherwise you can forget
coming back at all!"
How the hell had she ended up working for such a little shit? As she
took a minute to ponder the machine continued its barrage of what had
so far been nothing but abuse,
"Umm hi Kirsten, look I just heard what happened and I'm sorry for
flying off the handle like that before. Just umm&;#8230; let me know
when you're out of the hospital and umm&;#8230; well we can't wait
to have you back, bye."
Well that certainly humbled the arrogant little bastard, she'd never
heard her boss so lost for words before and couldn't help but smile at
the thought of him sitting with his tail between his legs. Perhaps
she'd let him sweat it out for a day or two before she called to say
she was coming back. Come to think of it her job was pretty crappy
anyway. A six-foot square cubicle and a half-hour lunch break, not
exactly big bucks either. Perhaps she would look for something new. Her
train of thought derailed as yet another message chirped up on the
machine, she'd never known she was so popular. It was her mother,
"Hello dear it's Mom. Oh you know how I hate these awful machines,
well I'm just calling to check up on you like us mothers do. I haven't
heard from you in so long, is everything alright up there in your "big
city"? How is that job of yours working out? Got a big raise yet? And
are you courting any attractive young men? I really think it's about
time you settled down dear. Oh listen to me prattling on like this.
Well you take care now dear and get in touch soon."
For somebody who hated answer machines her mother had certainly had a
lot to say for herself. That's typical of your average parent though,
it had in fact only been a week since they'd last spoken. As for the
remark about the men, it all seemed rather ironic really. Well she'd be
steering clear of guys for a while that much was certain. Just thinking
about it made her flesh tingle and she instinctively reached for the
spot on her neck where the holes had been. Then she remembered the
dream about her father, would it be worth discussing with mom? No, it'd
probably just scare the poor woman, best to forget all about it but
easier said than done.
There were a few more messages, friends mostly just calling up to ask
her out to one bar or another. For such a big city with so much
diversity and activity it was amazing how much of her social life was
spent in bars. Nevermind, all of that could wait. She switched off the
machine, unhooked the phone and crossed to the bathroom. No more
distractions.
Turning the faucet she sat on the rim of the tub listening to the
gurgle of steaming hot water into the porcelain bath. She turned to
peruse her collection of oils and bath salts; the girl had everything
from lavender to honey and coconut milk. A veritable mini-bar of
relaxation and aromas. She was sifting through them when the deep red
cinnamon oil caught her eye, the thick crimson fluid oozing around the
bottle as she turned it over and over. The red, the colour, the fluid,
flowing, flowing from her into him. The life leaving her.
Kirsten screamed and slung the bottle across the apartment, its
journey ending in a muffled crash and ugly stain on the kitchen wall.
What was wrong with her? Would she have a permanent fear of anything
red from now on, some sort of haemophobia? Perhaps she needed
counselling or something, more problems to deal with. She closed the
door leaving all her problems and anxieties outside while she stripped
and sank into bliss. The water felt both cleansing and refreshing which
ironically enough was probably the line they'd used to sell the oil in
the first place. Laying back she submerged everything but her face, as
her ears went under all the sounds of the street outside the window
vanished and she was left alone with the beating of her heart. Closing
her eyes she imagined this is what one of those sensory depravation
tanks must be like that people pay astronomical fees to be locked in
for hours. The thought didn't do much for her.
She took her time to wash and scrub every inch of her skin, despite
that hospitals promote health she couldn't help but feel rather stale
since she'd left. Maybe it was the clinical nature of the place and the
lack of sensation there that had made her feel a little sterile.
Finally she washed her hair and finished bathing. Soon after she
collapsed into her bed to enjoy the deepest nights sleep she had ever
had. Unfortunately a rather rude awakening the next day when she woke
up sweating profusely and spent the next hour over her toilet being
violently sick followed this. Damned hospital food.
She spent the day "busy doing nothing" as it were. She'd called work
and arranged to take some extended leave. All it took was a few choice
phrases to lay a major league guilt trip on that lousy-assed boss of
hers and she had all the time off she wanted. It wasn't that she didn't
feel up to going back to work, rather that she didn't feel up to going
anywhere. Right now this apartment felt like a safe little sphere cut
off from the rigours of the outside world. A place that she'd learnt
was dangerous in all the worst ways. Of course she couldn't lock
herself in this rent-controlled paradise forever, come to think of it
she'd never got those groceries so she'd have to go out in the next
couple of days. Now where were those Twinkies?
Whether it needed it or not she cleaned the place from top to bottom.
Dusting, vacuuming, polishing, cleaning the windows, taking out the
trash, she even moved her closet to brush away the cobwebs behind it.
As in any traumatic situation keeping busy helped keep her mind off
things. By the time she was done it was already getting dark and the
city began to stir. She always thought of it as a rather nocturnal
place that burst into life after sundown. It was like a carnival of
colour every night, the sick luminescence of street lamps and neon
staining the sidewalks. High rises that continued to shine into the
night with random windows forming giant crosswords. Then the people, a
virtual zoo of cultures, you really could find anything or anyone in
this city. That is if you were willing to pay, about the closest she'd
got to the seedier side of this place was a Chippendale show that her
and the girls at work had been to a few weeks back. Erotic was
certainly not the word she would have used; farcical was more like it.
She went to bed with a smile.

More soon...