A funny convosation tha me and my mate Jack had on MSN once.

Seb:
'there are nine million bicycles in Beijing' is s rubbish song

how does she know? has she counted?

what if it's 8,999,999?

or 9,000,001?

and who cares anyhow?

pointless. totally POINTLESS

jack:
hi

Seb:
huh! why waste my breath

JACK:
what were u talking bout?

Seb:
hmpf!
not listening to me
...
so how's things?

jack:
meh life's hard u?

Seb:
No one will know my name until it's on the stone

JACK:
on a rock?
...
your rock hard abbs

Seb:
the grave stone u idiot! way to ruin an cool line
really!

JACK:
lol my bad

Seb:
that i made up!

JACK:
good 1

Seb:
thanks. i try
i like making up good lines like that

JACK
u succees...succeed

Seb:
i want the following etched on my grave
'those of you that look down on me shall one day join me'

JACK:
yeah. for me a classic from bob monkhouse
'i told u i was ill'

Seb:
or " piss off "
from spike milligan

what about 'your standing on my head'

JACK:
'get off my genitals'

Seb:
or ' here lies Sebastian Evans Thornton, crossed his wife and paid the price'

JACK:
'it's dark'
...
'it was the butler'

Seb:
ha good one!

JACK:
proud of that one.

Seb:
'i regret nothing'

JACK:
Yeah.

Seb:
'K.I.A. threw the pin'

JACK:
good one.

Seb:
Thanks

JACK:
'K.I.A. threw the grenade swallowed the pin'

Seb:
'didn't see the big fucking bus'

JACK:
'do u know y buses are generically red'

Seb:
so the blood Splats don't show

JACK:
exactly what i thought

Seb:
just coincidence

JACK:
mere coincidence yes

Seb:
'the bungee rope snapped'

'old. half blind. Doris didn't distinguish between her granddaughter and the grizzly bear'

JACK:
Nice one.

Seb:
'K.I.A. i knew it was pointing the wrong way!'

'got poisoned for being a Russian spy'

JACK:
'the end?'

Seb:
'got pissed, broke my leg, then got hit by the ambulance that came to help'

'always check for chlamydia'

JACK:
that's a good one.

Seb:
'Mr. potato heads. there alive. ALIVE I TELL YOU!!!'

'it took a hell of a lot of ibuprofen'

JACK:
'Hitler'

Seb:
oooh bit harsh.

Seb:
'i told child line, but they wouldn't listen!'

JACK:
Yeah.

Seb:
'Never refuse a hobo some change.'

'great. now I'm worm food'

'Never underestimate six-year-old girls.'

'i know longer wonder what happens when you consume francium'

JACK:
'hit me at 40mph and there is was an 80% chance I'll die, i was that 80%'

Seb:
oh oh, ouch!

'hit me at thirty and theirs 80% chance I'll live, but i would be paralyzed, so you might as well go at fifty'

JACK:
'hit me at 40mph and there is was an 80% chance I'll die, however u hit me at 90mph and vaporized me'

Seb:
'you just spent a million quid on a Veyron and fucked me up real bad'

'don't do drugs'

'aha bet your guilty now aren't you bullies'

JACK:
'I'm not really invincible'

'i fell'

Seb:
'I can't fly'

JACK:
"neither can i"

Seb:
"that bastard, he put a hole in my parachute"

Jack:
yeah good one.

'seriously; don't eat yellow snow!'

Seb:
great one!

Seb:
"axes hurt!"
JACK:
lmao

Seb:
'oops mixed up the viagra with the cyanide'

'i could see the future, too bad i didnt see that cliff'

Seb:
sandy was in the garden digging a large hole, when her neighbor tom came outside and asked 'hey sandy what are you doing?'

she replied with 'my goldfish died'. He said 'ooooh that's a shame but why are you digging such a big hole'

she only said " cause it's inside your FUCKING CAT "

JACK:
haha i like that.