Puffins

Advice on tackling the world`s most dangerous beast.
The puffin is to be feared! When aroused it can be seen to knee-cap the
average adult, As the adult bends to grasp the shattered knee the
puffin strikes- one snap of that beak and the gonads are removed.
How best then to avoid this fate??
1 Do not offer the puffin fish - except on Friday. Many Barnsley
puffins have adopted the Catholic faith.
2. Whispering "Nice puffin" will have no affect, All puffins are
slightly deaf in the right ear- it`s the waves you know.
3. Striking the puffin smartly on the head with a very large stick is
good.But beware of the helmeted puffin.
4. The recently published "Puffin Song" can have a soothing effect.
Copies of this song are available from any good pet shop or from
"Puffins are Us"
5. Never find yourself in a narrow alley with a puffin on heat.

The above is a short extract from "In Search of the Yorkshire Puffin"
by Wilf Pearson.