Lenses

As public space continues to be eroded by the constant invasion of
corporate images onto everything from toilet cubicles to NASA rockets,
the ultimate in post-modern product-placement is here.
Through a deal struck by several multinationals and one of America's
leading ophthalmic manufacturers, teenagers in the States are now able
to demonstrate their allegiance to The Brand by wearing contact lenses
embossed with their favourite logo.
Among the participating companies are McDonalds, Nike, Adidas, Shell,
Disney and Calvin Klein; which means that everybody will now be able to
view the world from a corporate perspective.
Previously, lenses have only been available in a range of colours that
changed the shade of the wearer's pupil. But, taking the 21st Century
advertising ethos to its logical conclusion, you will soon be able to
see everything from beneath the Golden Arches, or have all you survey
validated by a swoosh.
Sets of the lenses can be purchased from the larger outlets of all US
opticians and in stores of the participating brands. While sold
initially as matching pairs, it is thought the lenses will soon be
packaged into a 'box-set', thereby allowing the fashion-conscious
four-eyes to mix-&;-match to reflect their daily moods and shopping
requirements.
Branch Managers in McDonalds' stores in Chicago and New Orleans have
written the wearing of 'Golden Arches' lenses into the contracts of new
employees, whether they require sight correction or not.
But such practices in Nike outlets have been hastily re-considered
after one employee turned up for work wearing a "culture jammed"
version, depicting two juxtaposed logos in the shape of a swastika, or
'swooshtika' as it has become known.
A spokesman for Tunnel Vision Opticians explained the idea behind the
launch: "Imagine the situation. Boy meets girl, a uniquely tender
moment. Boy stares dreamily into the girl's eyes and sees that all she
really wants is a quarter pound of prime beef in her mouth. It's a
beautiful moment, both for the boy and the fast-food chain
involved."
To celebrate their impending global success, Directors of all the
corporations have commissioned a Limited Edition set of gold-encrusted
lenses, embossed simply with a large dollar sign.