Delusions

I dont understand why the tears must fall into the pail below
me.
Why the hunger grips my intestinal track and somehow my heart
too.
When he chides me for being this way,
I can't help but feel slighted by his claim.
I was a good girl when I endured hours to jolting misery.
I was the sacrificial lamb when I cried on those days.
And when I mentioned the holy rites, he screamed.
And I saw visions of my romantic hero blur and vanish
with a really good special effect.

There are no sugar plum fairies where I dwell now.
I am not given leave of this renching disease.
But I am only a pawn in this game.
Our game, my friends.
I can not tell where I go from here.
But I know that sleep seems a succor to my soul
as I lay frightened in a skein of fate.
And I retire to memories and fantasies.
Wondering why he won't come to save the day.