the affair

Cherry

By shoe

Sat, 28 Nov 2009
  • 2777 reads
13 comments
 

I hesitate at every step
there can be no mistaking,
the shards of glass
that line the path
I am contemplating.

Fever burns all reason
longing fuels my screams,
love is a mental illness
that steals my waking dreams.

Passion overwhelms the guilt
love supercedes the pain,
you're the one thats married
yet I'm the one in chains.

Certificate U
Poem
You're O.K, I'm not O.K
Love

Comments

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
'Passion overwhelms the guilt love supercedes the pain, you're the one thats married yet I'm the one in chains.' - a very powerful final stanza, shoe. Truly haunting. Magic xxx

 

Submitted by shoe on
I'm pleased you felt that from it, thank you for reading and taking time to comment, Shirley :-)

 

Submitted by Nick.A on
Love the poem especially the last two stanzas, "love is a mental illness" is really strong. Would litter work better than line in the first stanza? I wasn't too sure if the broken glass was underfoot or on either side - not that it matters too much it's there its sharp and its dangerous.

Submitted by shoe on
Thank you Nick for your kind words and suggestion, I picture the glass underfoot so "litter" would be more desciptive, although you would have to pronounce it lit-ter to keep the rhythm. "Sharp and Dangerous" indeed as illicit love is wont to be Shirley :-)

 

Submitted by shoe on
Thank you ABC, Am truly thrilled!!!

 

Submitted by Firebird on
What a lovely poem :) Well done on the cherry x richly deserved :)

Submitted by shoe on
Thank you firebird for reading and taking time to comment, I'm pleased you liked it, :-)

 

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
last stanza is spit and polish finale. Powerful and very very enjoyable, class! ;)

Submitted by shoe on
Many thank's for your kind words, Threeleaf, Glad you enjoyed :-))

 

Submitted by Verity Valentine on
Amazing! Short but convincing, therefore effective. I like it :)

V. Valentine ©

Submitted by shoe on
thanks sabzwin, it came from the heart,:-)

 

Submitted by Mark Heathcote on
Your thoughts are well focused and delightfully true.

Mark Heathcote

Submitted by shoe on
thanks Mark for reading and for your charming compliments, pleased you liked,:-)