The Wayward Son/Daughter: the Christian parents' test

When a parent detects that a son/daughter has begun to stray, it is time for action. The first and foremost action is not to panic and to remember that you are not alone. God is able to get involved and is possibly ready to do so. His help must be requested sincerely, however.
One has to analyze what it is that the son/daughter is up to. For example, is the ‘misdeed’ one that is specifically against God’s teachings or is it merely a thing against what you, the parent, personally desires for the son/daughter? The distinctions can be very important. Then is the misdeed harmful to anyone, including the son/daughter? Of course, there is a huge assortment of negative possibilities. None of them is pleasant if they are really harmful misdeeds (such as drug abuse just to cite one example).

Love that is entirely unconditional (as is Christ’s) is the number one weapon for fighting negatives in our lives and/or in the lives of our children. It is to play a major role in attempting to get the son/daughter back on the ‘right track’. Nagging one’s offspring and constant criticism is the opposite of that unconditional love. Nagging the son/daughter is the worst thing that the parent can do, yet it is normally the first impulse we have and is often resorted to incessantly. This is unfortunate for it serves only to drive the son/daughter farther away from the parent and, frankly, who can blame the son/daughter?

There are questions that must be asked. For example, how has the parent treated this child over the years? What kind of example has the parent been for the child? (A smoker-parent cannot tell the teen s/he doesn’t want the teen even to dream about smoking!) Why is it that the child does not have enough interest in pleasing the parent? An underlying reason must exist for each question. How can one get to that reason or those reasons? Communication is one way. Open communication with the child is very important. The child will communicate when and if he/she knows the parent is not going to nag or play the role of the know-it-all. (How can the parent know it all anyway, if he/she is having this trouble with a child?) Is the son/daughter in a phase of rejecting God, work, honesty, responsibility or other beliefs of the parent? If so, that may be just what it is—a phase. Many phases are temporary I think we’ll all agree.

The title of this article has the word Christian in it. That’s because it is assumed that this son/daughter of misdeeds has been raised in a church. When the son/daughter has not been raised in any church, then we are probably not talking about a practicing Christian parent, even if the parent says she/he is a believer. Believing in Jesus/God and practicing Christianity is not the same thing. The latter entails action. Being a professed Christian and carrying/having God in one’s heart is also not the same thing. The troubles the parent begins having with the wayward son/daughter may serve to interest the parent in practicing/acquiring religion for her or himself. Then the parent can begin explaining such a decision and/or witnessing to the child in the hopes, of course, that things will improve for this child. Another course of action might be that the parent having these troubles winds up disdainful of God-Jesus even further. In this instance we have the case of the ‘lost’ offspring as well as that of the ‘misguided and hopeless’ parent! A ‘the blind can’t help the blind’ sort of situation. I haven’t covered much ground in this little article, but I hope someone will read it and profit from it in some way. It offers just a few points to ponder, I think. I just continue to find it amazing how many parents out there don’t seem to know what to do with their kids. I’ll never forget my own dad. He always said that as long as we lived with him, we were gonna work or study and to choose which one we wanted right now. So, at least I can say none of the five of us was a bum. Thanks for reading.