Loves eternal gap.

LOVES ETERNAL GAP.
sneak

She's the kind of girl that prefers the gap's between tracks.
She's easily satisfied. She has to be. She's dating me.
Sometimes she'll stop talking mid sentence...
... It's as if a stranger has entered the room and she's reluctant to
give herself away.
She gave herself away last night.
I promised not to tell anyone....
But I'm just a bloke, with a mouth and a vivid imagination.
Just one more pint and I just might...
I stop myself mid sentence. I guess she's rubbing off on me.
I return her smile with a self-assured grin that speaks little of
regret.
The glint in my eye a dead give away.
She sparks a cigarette.
I'd never realised how sexy her cancer could be.
She exhales herself in my direction and I realise with pleasure that I
was, at last, passive.
The usual pent up anger that had rumbled on for so many years beneath
battered skin was slowly ebbing away.
Hands that would subconsciously form fists relaxed. I relaxed.
The usual banal arguments could breakout at the bar, but all I would
see and hear was her.
The smoke screen between us bought her into soft focus, like an old
black and white movie.
I was the loser, the habitual liar that thought love was something you
purchased from a chemist.
She was the heroine.
My heroine, my saviour.
My ghostly cancer girl blowing kisses from the other-side.
I finished my drink, grabbed my coat and left - alone.
Her death still lingering from the night before.
Her congealed black blood beneath my bitten finger nails casting doubt
on our relationship.
I jumped into a taxi hailed down by a disastrously disabled women who
looked not unlike my mother...
I kidded myself that natural selection gave me license to steal her
ride.
Life had dealt her a hard blow. I was just dealing another? Man's
inhumanity to wheelchair.
Perhaps, I thought, as I slammed home the door... perhaps she might
welcome my lack of pity?
I was fast becoming the master of positive thought. But reality has a
way of magnifying negativity, I was positive of that!
So many issues and so little time.
'So where to governor?', grunted the over-friendly driver who resembled
the decaying remains yester-year.
'Anywhere' I mumbled as I nervously chewed at my finger nails.
'Anywhere but home!'

...She was the kind of girl that preferred the gap's between
tracks.
A taxi bound for anywhere circles a tragic town.
I shiver in the warmth as my twisted mind recalls the cold bleak room
that we once shared.
Plastic sheets suffocate the bare wooden floor.
The strangely euphoric stench of industrial bleach chokes the stagnant
air.
My beautiful corpse sits in rigor-mortise elegance beside a dusty old
stereo that remembers the greats.
An audio umbilical cord stretches the length of the room attaching
hi-fi to goodbye.
The stylus, having long lost the will to sing, constantly thumps its
head like a patient in a padded cell.
Repeating as it does, the long silent pause that brings all good things
to an end.
I gave her what she wanted. The gift of silent reassurance and the
great eternal gap.

Press Stop.

sneak