While the cat’s away

Putting the world to rights

‘Jack! Good to see you. How’s the missus?’

‘Sent me to do the shopping. She’s at the hairdressers. Supposed to be meeting me here for lunch but she’s all behind and can’t make it. So I’m having a bacon sarnie, I know she’d give me grief if she was here, while the cat’s away hey!’

‘Didn’t have the bacon this week. They’ve put the prices up again, another twenty pence. Can you believe it? So it’s toast for me. Got to save somehow.’ Phil chewed thoughtfully on his toast.

‘I blame the government and all this scare mongering. Bacon was bacon when I was a kid. It came from a pig which ran about a field grubbing up tasty treats. Not sure what it is today, some import from China no doubt. Think I’ll have toast as well, at least the missus would approve.’

‘Don’t you get me onto the subject of this government. A load of fancy rich boys who don’t give a damn about what bacon costs, or where it comes from. All sitting in their palatial piles in the Cotswolds’ Phil's voice getting louder, attracting attention.

‘You’re right there mate. This lot in government now don’t give a toss about us, the common man, or about the conditions those poor pigs are kept in. Only want to get as much profit from their land as they can.’

‘Jack, is that your missus over there? Looks like she made it after all. I can see the reason for the delay by the look of all those bags she’s got’

‘Phil,’ Jack whispered, ‘Please don’t get her onto the subject of government and the cost of things. You know what she’s like once she gets started.

Hello love, glad you made it. Going to have a bit of lunch?’

‘I’m shattered and in need of some comfort food. Think I’ll have a bacon sarnie.’

Jack and Phil looked at each other with raised eyebrows and a wry smile.